A Blister on My Wrist

At Bruno's wedding back in August 2006, they had sparklers at the end of the night.  The idea was that we'd hold them up and the newly married couple would run under this corridor of sparkle. Well, they forgot the age old rule: open bar + fire = injury.

Fortunately, the couple escaped unscathed to my knowledge. I did not, a gentleman behind Laura and I was holding his sparkler seemingly directly over my head. One large spark fell on my wrist and got caught under my watch. Needless to say, it caused a blister, which eventually popped and left a scar. I didn't mind the scar, I liked it. I thought it was nice to have a reminder of all the fun I had that weekend, something that would always be with me.

But then a few months later it blistered up again. I thought maybe it didn't heal right. That maybe it had an infection or something that still needed tending. I let it run its course and then went on about my life.

I didn't give it much thought until this holiday season when it happened again. Now I was thinking that it was far-fetched for something like that to fester for a year. So I've leapt to something even more far-fetched and irrational, that somehow this scar is tied to the person I was standing next to that night, that it somehow represents extreme joy (or possibly sorrow). And if it is sorrow, maybe I'm supposed to help somehow. Or, if it is joy, maybe she just needs to share it with someone. Either way, I'm too chicken shit to ask.

It's crazy. I'm crazy. But it's what I think about.

I Have a Super Power

I am fearless, I cannot be embarassed

Godzilla!

"That's one f@$&ed up koala!"

Food, This Time at Work

Somewhere, maybe here, maybe in another blog, I wrote about how easy it is to talk while doing other, tedious, stuff. Stuff like boiling water, or putting food in your mouth, or washing the dishes. The stuff doesn't require your full attention, but it fills the gaps in the awkward silences in there. When I initially wrote about such activities, it was in the context of dating. Tonight, I learned that those kinds of activities might also be useful in business.

The idea was that when you're first forming a relationship, you want to be doing something else, that helps you and the other person feel comfortable, but something that doesn't interfere with conversation. Going to a movie is comfortable, but you can't talk. Riding bikes can be fun, but it's often hard to bike next to someone. Washing the dishes is good because one person can wash, one can dry, and it doesn't take a lot of brain power to do. Back in college I always wanted to talk while doing homework with my girlfriend, but it never felt.. I always felt like I was interrupting her. I haven't found enough of these filler type activities yet; I want to find more. Smoking is one that I forgot, I should figure out a way to be a smoker without actually smoking.

Business can be the same way with your work place relationships. I'm talking about teams that have high levels of trust. To help build that, you send the people out to lunch together. Someone mentioned even candy in a dish will get people to stop by and talk for a while, and help support relationships with others. I want to make it comfortable for people to meet new people, for them to talk.

Food is one way.

Everything

It's  kinda been a busy week. Let's start at the end. I talked to Salesforce today, and they passed me up for the Agile Coach position, but asked me to come in for another interview after New Year's for a Scrum Master position. The feedback I got was that I lack experience.

Some days I hate being 27.

But I've been sending my resume to about one company per day. Just about anything goes at this point, full-time, part-time, contract, work-from-home. My resume is on Dice, Monster, Career Builder, and I even made a post on Craigslist. Meanwhile, I'm being productive on that front, but I don't feel like I'm getting the footing I want at the good companies.

I made a web app for the iPhone over the last week. It's a referee for fencing thingy. I'm sure I could come up with a better description, but the point is it's got me learning Rails and the iPhone, which makes me more marketable in the Bay Area job market. There's a low demand for .NET out here.

This week I've got 2 tech talks, a half day presentation from Microsoft, and an expert panel on Agile to go to. I fly out Friday for Indiana where I'll get to see my fencers and Matt from my old job plus a few other folks. My grandmother will even be up for Christmas.

Last week, my parents had to put our family dog down. Curly Beau Romper Read Frise, or just "Beau" to those who knew him, would have been sixteen years old next week. We got him when I was eleven, about a year after our previous dog died. His head was so small that when you opened your mouth in front of him he'd stick his whole snout in there and lick the roof. I am sad that he will not be there when I get home, but I suspect he is much happier in dog-heaven where his hind legs work, he's free from arthritis, he has his balls, and there are legs to hump as far as the eye can see. He will appreciate most the awful smelling pig ears, the endless supply of used tissues, and the dirty underwear mountain that dog-heaven has to offer him. Once he tired from the leg-humping, he can always lick between the toes of all of those feet, because that's how he rolls.

In lighter news, President Bush dodges shoes very well, and the Secret Service is slower to react than I would have imagined.

Finally, I went on two dates (same girl) last week. Both dates involved pasta, which is a good thing. One outing also resulted in a bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge, which is quite peaceful at night. What happens next is up in the air - just like all of life.

Welcome InfoQ

I imagine if you're reading this today, then there's a good chance you came here from InfoQ. This blog is my personal blog, and as a result, contains my thoughts regarding life outside of work. If you're looking for my original post about Mesh Networks, head over to http://geekoff.blogspot.com/ where I co-author a blog with Matt Magurany.

Now, if you're still reading this, let me fill you in a little bit about myself. Presently I'm a project manager disguised as a software developer. I've been developing in .Net for the past 4 years, and it was PHP before that, and Java back in school. By night however, I've been the owner of a fencing studio (yes, swords and young people), the finance guy for a housing project in Tennessee,  and climber of man-made rock faces. These experiences have meant that I've been in charge of a quarterly budget of $100,000, it means I've had to become a fencing instructor to hundreds of new fencers and travel the country to support a few elites, and it means that sometimes I fall so far that I have to start over from the beginning.

I believe that work shouldn't make you miserable. You spend roughly half your waking hours at your job, and life is too short to have that make you unhappy. As a result of that belief, I spend a great deal of energy thinking about how I can make my work place better for myself and the people I work with. I constantly pull on the experiences I have outside of the office to guide me in the decisions I make. Those same experiences help give me a more well-rounded perspective when I am trying to understand someone else's concern.

I should also mention that if I seem like the kind of employee your company is missing, then drop me a line because I'm looking. Feel free to poke around here, leave your comments if you like, but make sure you get over to my other blog too. Thanks for stopping by!

I Should Quit More Often

"Why?" Because for one, it's easy to spend half a day at the DMV getting your license. I had grown accustomed to living in Lafayette where there was a DMV for both Lafayette and West Lafayette, so the office to people ratio was high. And they had their act together. They told you what documents you needed on the door, and it was clearly on the website. And when you got it, it was a fast operation even when it was busy. In SF, I went once, only to find out I needed a birth certificate or my passport, information that was buried in the web site and not something i expected since the last time I got a new state license all I needed was my old state license. And then I filled out a form. And then I got a number. And then I waited for 70 minutes. And then a guy typed in my information to his computer. And then I stood in another line for 20 minutes, just to be handed a test (WTF, couldn't the last guy hand me a test????). And then I took the test. And then they checked the test... after I waited in line. And if i hadn't waited enough, it'll be another 7-10 days before they get me my license in the mail. Indiana printed that bad boy out right there on the spot.

So that took a while.

But, the other part is that my "social" calendar is full as hell. I've been going to tech talks, and networking events, and even a tech version of Toastmasters. And I've got all kinds of meetups like Euchre, and Dodge ball. So I'm really meeting people, and everyone wants my resume or knows someone who might. Plus, tonight, I got invited to a party and another girl gave me her number. I like to think that work was stressing me out so much it was squelching out "the real me", and now that I've quit, it's like it's 2000 and I'm "oozing sex appeal" (see McCutcheon Madness t-shirts to fully understand).

Everything is coming together. I'm pulling on the social networks I built up over the last six months, and forming new ones at an exponential rate. I really feel like this is the life I moved out here for. I've got a followup interview with Salesforce later this week, I'm talking to a few other companies here. The GD told me that of all the people he knew, I'd be the one to land on my feet after resigning from a job without another lined up - and more and more, I'm thinking he's right.

Trust Myself

Currently I'm up to my eyes in a conflict resolution. I was asked by this why I was upset with him. I replied with my thoughts and perceptions. His response was to use other people's thoughts and perceptions about himself in an attempt to invalidate my own.

I freaked out. I began to think things like, "Am I really that far off in how I see myself and how others see me?" It is the most aweful feeling to think that you're wrong about the one thing you have the most control over. If I were a dude of lesser will, I could see how a feeling like this could easily destroy a person.

The danger lies in letting people shape your self-image too much. I doubt you can totally ignore outside opinion alltogether and be a healthy contributor to society, but each individual opinion needs to be weighed with the opinions of others and against your own opinion.

The thought this leads me to, is that only you have the full picture of your actions. But when I say "only you" I immediatly hear the argument "only you and God". If this is true, maybe this is what gives him the authority to judge us. But it also implies that God is more like something inside of each of us, and not some thunderbolt throwing god in the sky. Either way, I have to trust myself.

Movies and Friends

What I liked about middle school and high school, was that I had a very good grasp of what my friends had seen. I could drop a quote and know that they'd all get it, or that Pat and Fi would get it, and Al would laugh because he'd only seen the preview, but didn't want to feel left out. I don't know what movies my friends have seen these days, so I'm afraid to drop quotes because I'm afraid no one will get what I'm talking about.

Visitors from Another State

My family came into town this week! We did all kinds of stuff, and there was a metric ton of cable car riding, but we also managed to hit up the street car, the bus, the old school street car, and BART. I'm still glad to be in SF, and I don't feel home sick really, but I was happy to have a bit of home here. The other nice thing was showing them around all the places I go so they can picture it when I talk about it on the phone.

Of the places we went, SFMOMA (the modern art museum) was the most fun for me. This was largely due to the fact that I wasn't afraid to interact with the art that was there for you to interact with. Paper on the ground? I'm reading it! Brooms to pick up? I'm pickin'! it kind of made the Academy of Science pale in comparison with it's lack of stuff to put your hands on.

While they were here, they got to meet Amy. They also hung out with the Dickerson's on Saturday. I was most happy to see them interacting with my friends, new and old, in SF. As all trips though, they had to end and I'm pretty tired. So while they fly over two time zones into a third, I'm going to clean up the war zone and take a nap.

Call for Stories

Hey I'm writing an autobio-something (the goal is a book, but if it turns into something shorter that's ok). It's gonna focus on me skipping developmental stages of life and how that's shaped me into the Will Read of 27 that you know today. From my parents calling me "a little adult", to going from rolling to walking without crawling, to later stuff, like never really getting into trouble, to being more of a kid when everyone else was racing to be an adult, etc. And so if you have stories or reflections that you think I should work in, or even if you think it's way off topic but want to rehash the past for a bit, type 'em up real quick and get 'em to me (will.read@gmail.com)

My goal is to work on this during the down time between jobs. Maybe a rough draft by New Year's.

After 10 Years

I'm typing this on my first, and essentially only keyboard that I've ever owned. I bought it when I assembled my first PC back when Cyrix was making a run against Intel. It's an ergonomic keyboard, and it has a built in touchpad. For both of those reasons I bought it, and for both of those reasons people who use my keyboard hate it.

But lately it had been having trouble with the space bar. Kind of an issuewhenyoursentenceslook like this. So I opened it up, and I should have taken a picture, but let me say I never want to dig up dead people. Seeing 10 year old hair and skin/ dust/ food crumbs was super gross. So I brushed that out, gave the main keys a bath in the sink, and pulled off the back. I found that my keyboard was pretty advanced, not a cheap printed circuit board like I'm accustomed to finding, no, inside was three layers of plastic (Mylar) and a different layer of the circuit was printed on each sheet. The magic happens when you press a key, the middle layer acts as an insulator, and doesn't conduct very well, but when the three layers are pinched under the pressure of a key, the top layer makes a connection with the bottom, and viola! key press action.

While I was in there, I made sure to realign the layers under the space bar. Screwed it all together, put the keys back on, and magically my space bar works again! So tonight I raise my glass to the best keyboard a guy could ask for, here's to 10 more years, cheers!

Jobless

I've resigned from Jobvite. You can ask me about the details offline, but let me say I still like the product, and there are a lot of good people in charge who will do good things with the company.

My last day is Tuesday, November 25th. After that it's the good life, except that I won't have income, so it won't be that good. Actually not that good at all. So needless to say I'm looking for a job.Not having a job, but still having the expenses of living in SF is probably the scariest thing in my life thus far. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty afraid.

I may try a contract job to fill the next 3-6 months and then go from there. I've also been working my social network to establish contacts at companies I want to work for like Pivotal and SalesForce, both of which are close to where I work now and filled with people who really seem to understand the importance of job satisfaction.

But I might switch out of development. Today I just got back from being certified as a Scrum Master. Scrum, in addition to being a rugby thing, is a set of business practices that are gaining popularity in the software world and actually has a lot of roots in the automotive industry. But a Scrum Master is essentially a Project Manager, so I'm trying to learn how that profession works.

If anyone knows someone who needs a project manager in the bay area for a software shop, let me know.

Gah!!!

So ever since I moved into my apartment here in SF I haven't been able to geton the wireless network with my desktop PC. I always assumed it was my old ass computer that had seen betterdays - maybe the USB ports were fried, or maybe I pried open my WiFi dongle onetoo many times thiking about making something elsethat was WiFi enabled.

Well yesterday I bought a new USB PCI card, popped it in, attached my WiFi dongle and got connected for like 20 seconds, noticed there was not outbound traffic, then got kicked off.  This happened a couple of times. I figured Imusthave a flakey WiFi dongle, but the storewas long closed, soI had to go this morning.

I returned the USB card, and got a WiFi PCI card instead. Got it home, plugged it in, still couldn't connect. So finally I reset the wireless router. It didn't actually reset it, so I plugged in a cable and logged into the router. After putting a password other than the default one on the router, I noticedthat my passphrase (the old room mates phone number) was sitting there in clear text. "!?!?!", I screamed! Apparently instead of having the phone number as a passphrease and then hashing it, he just used lame 64-bit encryption (instead of 128-bit) and just used the phone number as a hash.

So my hardware has been working fine all this time. Just that someone used the technology differently than it was intended to be used. Gah!!!!

In the land of dating...

..."friends" after "casually dating" is not better. And I don't mean for that to sound as hard as it might, but those words are the best I have to express how I feel.

Audience

Just saw Rockin Rolla. The humor was mostly based on homophobic tendencies which wasn't all that funny to me. But then I'm not what I'd consider your standard American homophobic action junkie. So in that regard, the writers did a fantastic job of understanding their audience. It makes me wonder if there's some sort of connection with enjoying fantasy violence and a lack of comfort with guys who like guys.

I Have Another Need

This plays into my need to be needed, but I have a need to make things that people will use. I want to build houses.

It Makes Me Angry

[caption id="attachment_1377" align="alignleft" width="440" caption="It makes me angry"][/caption]

Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased to see Obama in the lead, but when people ask me who I'm voting for, I reply honestly that "I'm not voting."

"Why?!?!?", you ask, "It's your civic duty." But what about my government's responsibility to represent the people? Look at the poll to the left, it shows the popular vote at a fairly narrow gap of less than seven percent. But then the system goes and mucks the whole thing up with the electoral college and the idea of "winning a state" and we get Obama with 65% and McCain at 35%. Now the spread is thirty percent!?!?!

If that wasn't bad enough, imagine being in a blue state, and voting red. Now instead of your vote counting for 1 amongst millions, it counts for absolutely nothing. Or in a swing state, where the popular vote is always almost evenly split, and you hit the swing side, now your vote counts twice as much as someone in a state where everyone voted the same because you essentially gobbled up your neighbor's vote who pulled the other lever. There is no equality, there's nothing representative about the system at all. It makes me angry.

Painting is better when shared

I've been helping Amy paint the kitchen and common area of the part of her sister's house she lives in for the last two days. It's a total blast because I get to spend tons of time with amy and we're doing something, but it isn't so involved that it hinders discussion. Or if there would normally be akward silence, here it's just focused painting. And we talk about nothing at all, to some of the more meaty topics we've gotten into.

Paining also helps me with my craving to be a home owner. I got to fix a set of light switches, and pull down some light fixtures, not to mention the whole painting thing. So it's arguably a very selfish thing I'm doing by helping Amy paint, but I also get to help. And she's already cooked for me once and grabbed some wine for us to drink while we painted and her sister offered to cook dinner for us. All of which is great but totally unnecessary, I'd really be quite content just to get paint stuck in my hair while hanging with Amy.

The Reality Is...

The reality is that there have really only been two jobs I've had that I can look back and say "I really enjoyed that work." It's interesting because they're the only full-time-non-computer jobs I've had. Working full time as a staffer for the Appalachia Service Project, and being a full time fencing coach were both great experiences.

But what I don't know is if I liked them because of the type of work I did, or the ability to manage my own time to a high degree. In the case of ASP, I was one of four staffers, and three of us answered to the fourth, then he reported to ASP HQ, but they didn't really meddle in the day-to-day stuff. I was the "Finance Guy" so I Had my domain and as long as my reports got in and I did the rest of my duties, no one really had anything to say.

In being a fencing coach and club owner, it was much the same way. I essentially had no one to answer to and no one to answer for. My choices were my own and they affected me (and my club) only. Maybe that's why small businesses are appealing, and maybe that's why I get so upset when things don't go well. I want control over my life. It would seem that I don't care what it is that I'm doing, so long as I have control over how I do it.

It's Blog Action Day

http://blogactionday.org/

What I've Done

One of the most fulfilling things I've done to address poverty is to participate in the Appalachia Service Project (http://asphome.org). It's a housing project like Habitat in the West Virginia, Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee area that does some new construction, but mostly home repair. I went as a volunteer four years in a row, then in college I became a staff member in the summer, and then went as a group leader for several years afterwards. It's tied loosely to the Methodist Church. I wish I could explain to you what it was like to sleep on the floor of a high school gym for a week, eat cafeteria food, and sweat my balls off in the sun and feel great every moment of it.

I'm a doer. I feel good when I help by doing, not by standing on a soap box, not by donating money. I have to get my hands in it, it has to be hard.

What I Think

Poverty is a huge topic. I've been lucky enough to be raised in a well-to-do family, to have an education, and to have the ability and ambition to put that education to use in gainful employment. What gets me most about living in SF now is that there are homeless guys who stand at the same spot all day begging for money. They're there before I go to work, they're there when I go home. It's a job the way I see it, but they have no boss, and every patron is their customer. I wonder what the retention rate is like? But at that point, why not get a "real" job? There's an emotional component to it, something that Amy brought to my attention. It's something I feel like I should understand better.

Where's Will?

Now my phone will tell you!

http://www.instamapper.com/ext?key=1041918319803914289

Atom and Eve

I talked more with Josh and Anne, delving into the intricacies of the metaphor for "chemistry". Josh says that the reaction may be slow to happen. I'm pretty convinced that it either is gonna happen or it isn't. There's no "making" of the chemistry. And it's a strange thing for me to come to terms with. I grew up thinking that if two people seemed like a good match, then they could foster the yet-unidentified chemistry.

All the years spent, wondering why I liked someone and not understanding how they could possibly not feel the same about me! If only I'd known! But then how do you know? What is it about a relationship that makes you say "There's some chemistry here"? I don't know, but I know it when I feel it. So the point is that if you can't make it, you just have to find it.

Molecules

Anne equated attraction to atoms. Some atoms can sit side by side but they never react. They understand each other, they have the same protons, same electrons, same neutrons. But we just don't have Chlorine Argon. But snuzzle up some Hydrogen next to some Oxygen and look out! WATER! Reaction! Attraction...

It is like that. Just like that. The problem is that I don't know exactly what kind of molecule I am, I don't know what kind of molecules the ladies out there are. And even if I knew both I still wouldn't know which ones I'd react with.

But that's actually a lie. I know a lot about me, more than I'd say most people know about themselves. I also know a decent amount about the kind of ladies that I'm attracted to. I even know a little bit about the ones that have been attracted to me. This all means I'm pretty well off for being an atom looking to form a molecule.

Nitrogen atom seeks single Oxygen to form a strong bond. Willing to share electrons, can offer fulfillment of outter shell.

Unwound

Recent events led me to consult the almighty Google for information about "chemistry", what makes two people love each other. I found stuff that talked about chemicals in the brain, blah, blah, blah. Endorphins this, and dopamine that. But wait, what if that's all there is to it? Then I read about people becoming addicted to the checmicals, and that's why they stay in relationships - that monogamy is programmed into us. The people who hop from relationship to relationship are addicted to the set of chemicals found in the beginning of the relationship.

[NOTE: there was more to this post originally, but it got eaten by the internets, so I wrote the paragraph below the next morning]

The whole think smacks of "no choice" and "no control" in the sense that my brain doesn't get to pick. I can't adapt to a situation. It's always going to be square peg - round hole or round peg - round hole. No in between is what I get from my reading. It's like a form of fate, which makes me uneasy because I want to control my own life. I don't want to think that I'm just an observer in a fleshy man chair.

Josh Went to Breakfast

Josh went to breakfast with a girl named Mollie this morning. It's rewarding to see him step out of his comfort zone. This was his end of the bargain. My end was asking Amy to join me for dinner. Where we both go from here is up to us.

"It's Working Like Gangbusters"

The saying is from Eteranl Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and has no bearing on this post, I just wanted to say it because it's been a long day.

I cried at work today, in front of my boss, Adam. Part of it is that TiVo is one of our customers, and suddenly I had to make a bunch of changes I promised for Monday next week. The change in priority came from jesper who comitted the work without asking the person doing the work (me). It's total bull shit that happened because they're buddies.

Back in developer land, we've been trying to get a release out the door. The main feature holding up the show is the one with my name on it. Which blows because the real reason is that I had enough time to do it if I had the informaiton at the beginning of the release. Instead I got the info at the end, some still pending today as I type this. But who is doing the work? The engineers. Will people think "Oh well certainly the people doing the work aren't the reason the work didn't get done."? Hell no.

So everything I'm working on is in fire drill mode and looks like a big steamy failure. Tonight I didn't even have the option to skip out on Nikki's birthday, and tomorrow I have to cancel my kiteboarding group meetup. So it's cutting into my personal life, and it's no wonder I broke down today.

Amy Meyer

12:32am text message from Amy Meyer: "i concur"

It was in response to my previous blog about our escapades of late. But no one says "i concur" but the RCF fencers, Josh and I mostly. Everything about her feels like that - it clicks. We can talk about anything and everything. She's full of life and happy. She's new to the city, so we share that. We met at Euchre night. She grew up in East Lansing and went to college at Arizona State. Now San Francisco is "cold" to her and she doesn't see herself staying more than a year. But in the meantime she's living with her sister in the Haight, but will soon be moving in with her other sister (and her partner and their son) in outer Mission.

She's gorgeous. And she shakes her head when she says something that makes it just a little more sexy than it needed to be. Se came from a fairly religious background, and admits that being a democrat is the only thing that separates her from being her mother. Amy taught in Costa Rico for a year (where she dated a student) teaching English as a second language - big points for being an English teacher in a way. She's also a psych major, like my mom was.

She also says she can cook really well. Basically, if I had a checklist of the perfect future Mrs. Will Read, so far the only empty boxes are brunette (which she says she has mousy brown hair, but it's blond right now) and same age (she's 24, same as Jon). I enjoy every moment I'm with her and I forget about everything bad that may be going on (job stress, paper cut, the whole nine yards). And I long for the next time I get to see her again.

She has my sweater now. I always think it's a good sign when a lady steals your clothes. And things are going slow if they're going that direction. I like it - "friends first" kinda. I hope she feels the same way about me, that I do about her.

Restauranteur in Arms

Last week we went to a place called Memphis Minnies which served pulled port sandwiches to us. We talked about how I don't like to add sauce to my food, that if the chef intended for there to be sauce, he'd have put it on there before serving it to me. We also talked about politics. I never talk about politics with anyone except maybe Josh. It was then that I learned of Amy's love for ice cream. We found a place that served dessert crepes, and would probably have been good for a meal too. We listened to "Tuesday Morning" by Melissa Etheridge.

Now, a couple of days later, we've also been to the No Hill Cafe. It's an Italian cafe/wine bar that's just a block and a half from where I live. She had tortilini, I had lasagna. Both were good in my opinion, and the conversation didn't disappoint either. We talked about all kinds of things, including a way point on faith and religion. After a brisk walk, we went to the gelato place that the Dickersons helped me find on my birthday. Matt swears by the kiwi gelato. I'm a fan of fruta de bosco. Amy had a scoop of frutta and a scoop of nutella. We listened to "Galileo" by the Indigo Girls and "Standing Outside the Fire" by Garth Brooks.

After examining the bus schedule and the not-so-late hour, we decided a movie was in our best interest. So we hiked a few blocks and popped in my favorite relationship movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. When it was over I walked her to the bus stop on Stockton so she could catch the 9X. She had asked for an old sweater to keep her warm on her trek home. She now has my favorite (shhh, don't tell her I gave her something I like) blue hoodie in her possession. I hope that it protects her from the cold, and reminds her of good times until I see her again for a Wii challenge.

MIA With Good Reason

Ok, not really a good reason, because buying kite gear doesn't take every moment of a full week, but it's been consuming my thoughts a lot. Here's a link to my Kiteboarding album that has pictures of my gear:

From Kite Surfing

So the board is a Liquid Force twin tip. It's basically a skinny wake board. 151 is the length in cm. The bigger the board, the easier it is to stay on top of the water in lighter wind, and more edge for carving upwind. Once I get going and know what I'm doing, a 140cm board is more inline with my weight. It came with "luxury" foot pads/straps. They feel pretty luxurious.

The kite - is huge. The pictures don't really do it justice because there's nowhere in my apartment I could be and get it all in the shot. But it's 10 square meters. Roughly 1.5m deep, making the breadth of the kite to be about 6m (aka 20 ish feet). The kite is a 2008 Ocean Rodeo Rise that I bought used for $750 (I won't tell you what it would have been new, but suffice to say I saved A TON OF GREENBACKS). It's kind of a cool kite because unlike most kites, it's vented, so in theory, the wind is a little less turbulent, meaning it shouldn't back fly into the wind window like the kite I took my lesson on.

Then when I picked up my board I also got a harness. But this one is built into some board shorts, so it's a seat harness, but doesn't look like a giant diaper. Plus a bar, bar pad, leash, and helmet. I also ordered an O'Neil life jacket and a travel bag from the interwebs (should be here later this week).

Damage: $400 board + $260 misc + $750 kite (steal of a deal!) + $250 vest & bag + $300 wetsuit + $500 land & water lessons + $100 trainer kite = thank goodness I'm employed.

Badly Beaten

I'm not dead. But I hurt everywhere. Three and a half hours of wiping out and sucking in sea water. And a few glorious moments of using the wind to pull myself across the water... Woooooooooooo!

We started off body dragging. So no board, just a big ass kite and twenty mile per hour wind, and if you do it right, everything from your knees up are out of the water. This was the fun part, I kinda just want to make a sport out of body dragging.

Then the board. So now you have to get up. The mechanics are identical on this part to wake boarding only easier because the "boat" is over your head. And now you're up so you have to move, well you don't have to, but it helps you look cool.

Wind is not a good boat.

So you have to help it. You have generate power but not too much power. You have to keep the lines taught. And your have to keep your weight back.

And you have to let it pull you though the harness, not the bar. In skiing, in wakeboarding, the power comes through your arms. It's the same on the two line trainer kite. But on the four line big kite the power is partly in the bar, but it really needs to go through your pants (wink). I have a hard time just steering with my hands and letting the kite pull through the harness.

Then there's fencing. I can profile like a champ to the left. But when you want me to go the other way, like I'm fencing with my right hand, "switch" they call it, I feel like a fish out of water.

I'm not a natural, but I'm a lightweight, which is great for wind. So I'm in. Just let me recoup first.

Kiteboard Lesson in 1 hour

I have my kiteboarding lesson today. If I don't write by the end of the day it means that I either froZe to death, caught some air and ended up splattered on rocks or caught in power lines, or my baby seal suit was too appealing to the local shark population.

But I'm sure I'll be fine... Right?

Giving In

I had to admit to myself that I'm not doing enough to meet people. So I decided to follow some advice I found on the internet <insert plan for disaster here>. No, really I signed up on Meetup.com and found myself a Euchre group, a Settlers of Catan group and I saw that there were a good many people looking for a Kiteboarding group. Well I'm no expert, but I can certainly find some if needed. So I started a San Francisco Kiteboarding group. We're going to meet every Thursday at 6:30pm at the field where I usually fly my kite anyway. Easy. The 6 month group ownership set me back $72, but I figure that's a good investment in establishing new friends and will go a long way to getting some value from kiteboarding other than the skill itself. I hope that we'll get a decent turn out and we can get some equipment demos, maybe some sponsorship one day.

Click here to check out
The San Francisco Kiteboarding!

New Three Piece Suit

Yep, not your typical "night with the big wigs" kind of suit. I got a wetsuit. My water lesson for kite surfing is scheduled for this Saturday, so I figured I needed something to keep my warm. I picked up the Mutant from O'Neil. It's a 4mm/3mm suit. Meaning it's 4mm in the chest and back and 3mm in the arms and legs for mobility. The seams have what O'Neil calls a "Fluid Seam Weld" meaning they stitch it once, then slap a bead of rubber over the seam, purportedly making the suit more flexible than the standard of stitching the seams twice and leaving them exposed.

They call it the Mutant because it has two "tops", one is the hood I have on in the picture above. The other is a super sleek collar. The hood is intended for cold weather, help retain body heat even more, and keeps the wind off the ears.

I thought I wanted a 5/4 instead of a 4/3 when I walked in. There was a 4.5/3.5 that I considered, the Psycho Phreak. It's a little different in construction. The neoprene has air pockets injected into it. I'm told it's warm as hell. It's also an extra two hundred bones more. So I got the Mutant, but I was uncertain of my purchase. It needed testing.

So for 15 minutes I stood in the coldest shower I could get out of my faucet. Didn't shiver once, got kinda bored, so I let the tub fill up. I soaked in cold, cold, water for another 15 minutes with the jets in to keep it moving over and around and making sure the water didn't just stay in the same place and get warm. After the soak I was still warm and totally satisfied. I just dug up some numbers, tap water is anywhere from 45-65 degrees. The surface temp in the Bay is currently shown to be 64 degrees. I am no longer afraid of the water temp. Now if only I didn't look like a baby seal... *CHOMP*

Chop Chop Haircut Master

I went to a salon. Juju cut my hair. I asked for her to keep it the same length it was on top. The clean up the back and sites, get it off my ears. She did it well. It feels weird to have my hair flop around on the tips of my ears like this. It was weird at first. It's growing on me.

Yahtzee!

http://picasaweb.google.com/chris.tolley/MemorialDay07/photo#5072041892879321266

'nuf said

I Love It

Go sign up on OkCupid. It's the most fun I've had in a social site. Oh and it has that dating thing too.

Final Glass Class

I picked up my stuff from The Crucible today (last class was Wednesday).

From The Crucible

SO what you're looking at is two icicles and a lattichino marble. The interesting thing is that both types are made almost the same way. First, make a paddle of stock glass about the size of a fifty cent piece. Then put some strips of color on the glass. The icicle on the left has three blue stripes. The marble has five stripes (black in the center, two white, two blue). If you're making a marble, sandwich the color between another paddle.

Next, get the thing all melty warm. Then twist. If you want a marble, let it gather into a ball with the flame. If you want an icicle, pull apart as you twist. To finis 'em up, put a loop on the top of the icicle (the icicle on the left was a rush job at the end of class so it doesn't have color or a loop). If it's a marble, you pull off some glass form each end as you twist the marble so the color comes down to a point.

My marble is exceptionally round. I should say it's it comparatively round to my other marbles. It has one little flat spot (you can actually see it in the picture on the top of the perimiter) where the punty (aka stick of glass that keeps me from having to put my hand in the flame) was. I argue that it gives the marble a nice spot to rest as it perches on your desk.

Glass Catch Up

Well I've been through four of five classes.

From The Crucible

In week two I made a pear shaped pendant. It's got some diachronic glass (which gives it the sparkle). Then the back is decorated with a brownish color to give the sparkle the yellowish color. A pendant is made the same way as a marble, but you smush one side flat while the glass is hot, then put a loop on it.

In week three I made two pieces. One was an implosion that ended up as a pendant. The idea is that you blow a small bubble, decorate the outside, then head it up and it draws your decorations in through the clear glass, stretching it out. If you ever see "coral" or some kind of seascape, it's done with this technique. I used a white glass that boiled and bubbled a lot and was really hard to work with, and my implosion didn't work so well, so I smushed it and called it a pendant.

The last piece is another marble. This one much more round than the one I made two week before it. Also diachronic glass for the sparkle, but then I put clear glass on top to make a lens that magnifies the sparkle. A little coloring on the back makes it look like a professional third grader might have coughed this one out.

Then this past week I made something that should turn out really cool if it doesn't crack. I can't wait to get pictures of it. Next week is a free for all. I hope to crank out a marble with some spiral thing going on inside.

Blog About the Dickersons

I realized I haven't blogged about hanging with the Great Dickersonians since their wedding. I feel kinda bad because I have a blast hanging out with them and it's great having top notch friends just two hours away. They came down to SF for my birthday and slept on an air mattress just to see me. They took me out to a really nice Italian restaurant and we had some awesome gelato afterwards.

And then I was up there two weeks ago for a going away party for one of Matt's coworkers. I won about $30 in cash and got to see a girl jump into a retention pond wearing significantly less clothing than when she joined the party. That girl never called me that she was supposed to give my number to, oh well.

And there's always Settlers of Catan. All kinds. They have all the standard sets and we've taken to mixing and matching to the point that there's so much going on that I fail miserably to take action at the right time. But it's still way fun and they're notably improved at just treating it like a game. We also discovered that boiling rubber can fix a toilet.

But above all, they listen when I just need to bend an ear. And it's great to talk to them both because they have different perspectives with this common ground they draw from. Next weekend we're going car camping with some people they know. I can't wait to be a lazy bum the way nature intended: with good company at hand.

A Fine Visit

True, I only got to hang out with them for a few hours, but it was really awesome to see Brittany and her boyfriend Jeremy. She kinda brought with her a piece of my history, some of it newish, some of it seven years old.

It was the first time I'd met Jeremy though. He strikes me as a good match for Brittany. They were off to a weekend in Napa paid for by one of Jeremy's clients (he does some kind of web related work). I can't even score a free pair of shoes from Zappos, so I was kinda jealous that they got a weekend getaway for the price of airfare.

But we went to he beach, no one went in the ocean even with just their toes. There were a shit-ton of kite surfers out, then the wind died on all of them, which was sad to see them all self-rescue back to shore. We had a nice dinner at a place on Bay St. and Taylor, then we rocked out the basic version of Settlers of Catan. By then they were pretty dead, having been up since like 3 am and being another three hours ahead. SO they partook in the new furniture (sleeper sofa mostly). Then I saw them for a little bit this morning before I had to take off for work and they had to head for Wine Country.

Good Times.

Evidence: Part II - Opposites Attract

Along the lines of needing to be needed, there's the age-old saying "Opposites attract". Anyone who has ever taken interest in another has probably experienced this before. You meet someone who is nothing like you, you have zero common ground, and yet you find her to be the most fascinating person. Maybe you go out a few times, somethings work really well, some things don't seem to work at all. You each fill a need for the other - stability, enthusiasm for life, financial savvy, or creativity, but there's no common ground to start from.

I believe we need that kind of opposite in our life. It validates my character, my choices, my weaknesses, my strengths and gives them all a meaning, a purpose.

Evidence: Part I - Divorce Rate

Because I feel a need to convince myself that what I believe is true, I was thinking about the divorce rate. In previous generations, there were gender roles. The wife did the cooking and cleaning, and the rearing of children, the husband went to work, fixed the house, and managed the grill.

Today, both genders do everything. I have nothing against women in the work place or stay at home dads, I think this is a fine direction for our culture to take. There is a drawback to all of this and my point is that we're all a lot more autonomous. Our society has changed and we no longer need the other gender as much as we once did. When you've got the skill set to do everything that life requires of you (but maybe not the time), it is a lot easier to cut ties and move on to something else and find someone new who needs you.

Inventory: Part I - Physical Stuff

• I have a washer and dryer


• A spare place to sleep (this was crucial in meeting my second girlfriend when her apartment flooded)


• A kite


• Left-handed fencing gear


• Left-handed golf clubs


• Skis


• Partial set of camping gear


• Full set of dishes and cook ware


• [Girly] beer in the fridge


• A box of random electronics


• Power tools and hand tools that let me fix most anything around the house/apartment


• Some rope


• Books I like


• Some DVDs


• A Wii


• An internet connection

If you should need to borrow or use any of these things, I'm your man.

Every Clock...

...has something that makes it tick. For me, I need to be needed. This simple statement is the very core of who I am, it is what drives my decisions, my beliefs, everything. I made the discovery while trying to convince Michelle that life was not about being independent, that it was about the relationships, about having healthy dependencies on other people because a group is stronger than the sum of its parts. She was adamant that independence was key, at which point I realized, not that I was wrong (or right), but that I was different from her in this way. Quick examination made me realize that I'm different from most people in this way.

I remember a conversation with the GD my freshman year about codependence. I thought then, and still think now that I am not codependent. I can survive on my own, but I function an order of magnitude better when I'm in a situation where I feel needed. I found another diagnosis HPD that seemed more inline with me but still off. On one hand, it mentioned needing validation, which I do seek out whether I like to admit it or not, extrovertedness (me in a nutshell), but it also pointed to a character lacking resolution - someone who changed who he or she was just to please others - and a poor sense of reality. That's not me at all. I'm stubborn, people are turned off by who I am sometimes, and it doesn't bother me in the least and I'm pretty sure me and reality are on the same page.

 But that simple phrase, "needing to be needed", explains so much. I can point to my love affair with fencing that way. I was needed to be president, I was needed to open a new club, I was needed to be a coach. And when I had taught others to coach, I was no longer needed. It explains why my friendships are so intense, and why historically they've had a limited shelf life. It explains my level of job satisfaction at both present and past places of employment. In the context of volunteering I often say "I may seem like a helpful guy, but really I just like making others happy because it makes me happy".  Everything makes sense in this context.

I know have perhaps the most valuable piece of information. My gut reaction was to "fix" it, to become less dependant on others. But I thought about how adamantly I stood by my statement that life is meant to be shared, that others are important when measuring the success of one's self, and I realized this is not something that would be easily changed.  I also looked back at the experiences I've had when my need was being met - I have done amazing things, been an amazing person, a person I'm proud to say I know I have in me. So I think I should keep it, and find a productive way to feel needed at work, in my friendships, and in my romantic life, and be the best person I've ever seen me be. Next step: Inventory of what I have to offer that someone else might need.

Hiarcut

I went to a salon and paid the most I've ever paid for a haircut, but I think I got exactly what I asked for. It's still just as long on top, but way short on the sides so my hair kind of falls over on the sides and back. It feels very weird, and the new look is growing on me. Pictures to follow. Matt and Lauren are visiting and we're having a kick ads time eating some Za and playing games.

Re-energized

I'm not entirely sure what it was, but I feel better about work after today. Maybe it was riding the cable car to work after getting an extra hour of sleep. Maybe it was nearing the end of my monstrosity of a project. Maybe it was talking about the new code base with a clear separation between the data, the business logic, and the presentation. Maybe it was the warm welcome of FxCop. Maybe it was the fact that it is payday, that never hurts.

And They Clapped

When the credits rolled on Batman: Dark Night I clapped too.

Just a Guy

As much as people may jib an joke about me having a big ego after an off statement here and there, I have a self-perception disparity. The things I do, I do them because in my mind "That's what any other good person in my shoes would do." I pick up an extra empty bag of popcorn on my way out of the movie theater, I taught people to fence, I befriended someone in need, I bought sandwich makings for a hungry couple, I drove across the Midwest to help a friend in need.

I did these things, and many others, not because I wanted to shine, but because I wanted to be average. But from the reactions of people, I can only judge that these are not the actions of the average man. By trying to be just another guy, I've stood out, created something exceptional. It wasn't my intent. What I think it speaks about me, it speaks volumes more about people in general - that they do not very often go above and beyond the call of duty. Sometimes they don't even listen to the call of duty.

The people I keep closest to me, they are the exceptions, the ones who do go the extra mile, who listen at 3AM when you call. They show me how to live best. They are exceptional. Me? I'm just a guy.

California Will

Will

I decided that if I was an action figure, that after the market was saturated with the standard issue Will Read with type-action, they'd have to make special Will's. This picture represents "California Will". A lot more hair, foo man chu facial hair, and comes with kite-boarding accessories. Still the same steel blue eyes and grey tuft up front.

The same, but different.

First Glass Flame working Class

There you have it, my first task in class, melt a cylinder of glass into a sphere. It took an hour and there's a crack inside where I made the glass fold over itself and it is a little lop-sided because it was still warm when I set it down in the mold.

It's tough because you can't shouldn't put your hand or tools in the flame. So you either hot seal or cold seal a stick of glass to one side. Hot seals are where both parts are hot, so the glass mixes and it holds really well, then you use the flame to cut it off when you don't need it. The cold seal is where you heat the stick and stick it on the (cold) piece. It's a weaker bond, but if you do it right it comes off clean and just a little flame polishing gives you a nice finish.

The second project was still hot when I left (class is 4 hours once a week). Another marble, this time with a mushroom inside and some decoration on the outside.  I didn't get to the decoration part, and my mushroom was tiny because of insufficient heating. If it is still there next week I'll try to finish it, otherwise I may start over.

Either way it was fun. I got burned when I grabbed hot glass. I want to do more!

Week Of Destiny!

It's my 27th birthday on July 24th! That's Thursday! Yahtzee!

AND

I start a Glass Flameworking class on Wednesday! Bingo!

AND

This weekend I get to see the newly weds, Matt & Lauren! Jackpot!

AND

Who knows what else could happen!!! (Or what other game slogans I might shout out)

Double Feature

I went to see Batman, it was sold out. So I got a ticket for Hancock. When I came out I snuck into Hell Boy 2. I think it is the first time I've stolen anything worth more than two cents.

Weighing in on "Wall-E"

It's an ok movie. It isn't great, and the social commentary that everyone seems to think it provides is undone in the credits. At best this is a love story done in CG.

You have a lonely guy, a very lonely guy named Wall-E. He's a robot, the last of his kind. He lives by scavenging parts from his deceased kin. He is tireless in his duty, but he longs for companionship. That companionship arrives in the form of a slick, but evil looking robot named Eva. Yeah, it's cool that she was designed by the same guy that designed the iPhone, BUT, she's evil. Sleek, dark faced, and very little to offer in the way of emotional feedback. Despite this, she turns out to be the true love of Wall-E after the predictable choosing of her duty over love that she has never felt.

Meanwhile, people got fat. That's good because aside from the group that did the Final Fantasy movie, no one has figured out that we can't CG normal humans and have people buy into it. Anyway, our tubby ancestors forget all of their American ideals - freedom, creativity, and love. But this isn't commentary on how technology makes us lazy. In the movie they explain that "space" is the cause for the change in physicality.

So the bad guys get zapped, the misfits help out, and the guy gets the girl, and the credits role as the humans are setting foot on earth, less educated than when they left and read to "grow some pizza". The credits then show stills of the humans returning to their old shapes, and their old ways. Reliving our own history, rebuilding the same things that led to our trash-filled downfall. The stills do not depict the use of solar or wind power, they don't show people recycling right from the get-go, they don't show people who live in harmony with nature as the animals did.

They show exactly what we want to see, that our way of life can be maintained, they pander to us, they roll over. They have no backbone to make the statement people so desperately want them to be saying. It's just another movie.

I Hate Baseball... Less

Football is terrible for the bench seating, but baseball has a special place in the dark part of my heart. Bunch of guys, standing around in the grass, hoping that the man up front can't hit anything, yeah, that's excitement. But it makes me un-American to hate baseball, so when it is on, I don't protest too much. I've recently come to realize that there is some entertainment value though:

Batters look hilarious when they swing and miss - especially when they're convinced they're gonna get all of the ball. It is hard to look at a splayed out batter and think "professional", but really easy to think "HAHAHAHA".

Saw What I Needed To See

This weekend was Matt & Lauren's  wedding. It came off without a hitch... wait, there was one hitching, so I guess hitches are good inthe case of weddings. It went smoothly. I was the MC, which I do and I don't exactly understand why I was selected for the role. I think there are a number of their friends with enough personality and comfort with crowds that could have done just as good of a job as I did. That being said, I am happy that I was picked for the job, and that I got to stand in their wedding.

A few months back I had visited Matt & Lauren when they were living in Illinois. It was one of the first times I got to see them otogether on their home turf. We played some Settlers of Catan and I ended up being on the periphery of some very competitive conversations. And I have to admit it made me worry about them and their ability to resolve conflicts.

I saw what I needed to see this weekend though. During the days that proceeded the wedding there were a handful of surprise challenges along the way. I saw Lauren weigh the value of he bridesmaid's happiness against the logistics of adding a very late guest. She identified that the happy bridesmaid was very imporant to her own happiness and took action accordingly. I also saw Matt & Lauren faced with another challenge where they both were able to communicate the level of importance to th other and again, take action.

They were not paralyzed by choices. They worked together. They were not stubborn. I am not certain that I could have done the same myself in this stuation, so I am happy to see them together, to see them growing, and to know that they will make it, that this marriage will last. They are important people in my life, and I am glad to see they have the tools they need to e successful.

From My Flights

First class: Just because you sit in it, doesn't mean you are.

I've Been Lucky

I can tell I've been single for a couple of months, my posts are starting to focus more on my thoughts on relationships.

But I'm sitting here procrastinating, listening to my iPhone, and some music comes of that an ex gave me back a handful of years ago. I think about some of the other gifts she, and others gave me, and it reminds me of a story I heard on the fourth. My coworker Geoff mentioned that he wanted a marlin because it was the cool thing to have where he grew up (Florida) but he never had one. So when his birthday rolled around, one of his friends organized a purchase of a marlin. It was exactly what he wanted, but didn't know he wanted. It would have never made a wish list.

A lot of the gifts I've been thinking about have been in that category - things I never knew I wanted, but was delighted when I got them like gummy bears out of the blue, curling fish, monkeys, Mighty Putty, and a bunch of stuff I won't list here. Gifts from people who knew me better than I might give them credit for. These women all listened to me and what I was saying, even when I wasn't listening to myself.

Those are the gifts, and though they are usually small, speak volumes of how a person feels. Sometimes, I admit, I didn't listen to what those gifts said. I was excited, but I didn't understand always. Maybe I just need to listen, not just to words, but to actions, and in that I will find the successful relationship I've been searching for.

Josh Touches on Something Bigger

In the first three paragraphs, Josh talks about how the less you know about someone's past, the more uncomfortable, the more random that person seems (specifically in a movie context). Me, I find I go out of my way to do the complete opposite. I give people so much background about myself that maybe I lose that element of surprise. If you know exactly what path I've walked for the last twenty six years, it is easy to see where I'm going in the next five minutes, next week, next year, and you could probably make a good guess at the next decade.

I was talking to Matt and Lauren a while back and it came up that I'm not "wild and reckless", I don't have that "Who knows where he'll pop up next" ideology attached to me. I'm dependable. I think it sucks some of the excitement out of who I am now that I'm thinking about it. What if you didn't know what I do? What if I only told you things about right now, this moment? When I did something it would be a new adventure every time. It would be impossible for you to set any expectations, you'd never be let down, at least not for a while, but by then you'd be hooked on Will Read.

I'm going to ponder this some more.

No William!!!

There's a commercial from Farmers Insurance where a guy has his name tag stolen as a symbol of his identity. He chases the perp through the city and eventually loses him. His name is William. Every time I see the commercial I want him to just put a hand over his name tag and sock the thief in the jaw. Pow!

Applause

When I was growing up, younger than ten, people would always clap at the end of a movie. Sure, the movie makers weren't there, so they didn't know, but the theater knew, and they paid the bills for the good movies. But people don't clap anymore. The only time I've heard people clap is when I went to an overflowing theater for Star Wars: Episode 1. It was jam packed with fans, and they were going to clap regardless.

So what happened? Did we have too many "during the credits" segments where people wanted to start clapping, but then the end wasn't clear, like a Kubrick film (I hate that guy).  Animated films are particular offenders. But I don't think this is the whole picture.

What I think is that we've become afraid, afraid of voicing our opinions. Woah. America? Afraid? But think about it, why do you stay your hands? What if you clap and your buddies think it was terrible? What if someone in the theater thought it was terrible, said something, then you had to stand up for your opinion. That's a scary statement, "back up your convictions." How many people are willing to stand up and say that he has a different opinion? Some. All the time? Not many.

So we sit on our hands, keep our mouths shut, and while the voicing of our opinions may drive a wedge between us from time to time, but it also unites us. Not like our silence, we only become islands unto ourselves. Alone.

Categories and Tags

In Wordpress, I can put my posts in categories (which is what I do) or I can type some tags for each post. What's the difference? At first glance, the tags seem like more fine grained identification of the content. But when you start typing a tag, it suggests your old tags. So they want you to reuse them. But then they're more like categories, no?

And with all of this, does it really matter? Search engines are pretty good. Why tag or categorize when I can just search for what I want, ya know? Blah!!!!

Roommate FTW!

My stuff came today. They lost a box that had some of my sheets and some bathroom stuff (shower curtain and maybe toilet brush) so I'm not complaining. They destroyed my bookshelf in transport, but it was just a $40 book shelf anyway and I was half tempted to just throw it away back in Lafayette anyway.

I'm most excited to have my necklace back. I really liked wearing it around and it fits my "San Francisco look". But of course the most anticipated delivery was the TV. Forty two inches of LCD goodness. What I didn't expect was the nice pairing with the roommate's equipment. Exhibit A) XBox 360 - 'nuf said. Exhibit B) an iPod dock/speaker system he won. I'm usually not one to go for a good sound system, but the TV's sound blows dog balls. I previously had it hooked up through my computer speakers, which works ok, but you had to get off your butt to change the volume. No good. These speakers have a remote, and really good sound. Not to mention, that if I want to rock out to my iPhone, I can still just throw it in the dock and aural pleasure is all mine.

So thanks Brian!

I'm [almost] 27 Damnit!

I wonder why it is that when I meet new people they assume I'm 22. Why do I get carded nearly every time I'm at the bar? Is it the way I dress? Is it my hair cut? Is it the way I walk, or talk, or chew bubble gum? Am I just baby faced, which will become much more of an asset when I'm 50 and look 40? I don't know, but whateverit is, it sure does seem to make it harder to meet people my age, but I could "rob the cradle" like a champ if I was so inclined.

It should be known

That the driver of my stuff "hopes to be [here] around the 9th of July". It should also be known that I fly to Chicago July 10th and will not return till the 13th. Just long enough that I might not ever get my stuff ever.

UPDATE: Talked to the driver (not the agency) and he says he plans to be here on Tuesday, Jult 1st!!!!

Authentic Battle Damage

I got my training kite today!!! So right after work I [tried to] ride the bus to Chrissy Park, which I had checked out yesterday. I got there around 6:30 and cracked open my kite. I was pretty easy to set up, or so I thought, especially after I untied the kite from the ropes and retied them. I was on a beach and ready to fly. But everyone had their dogs out and I was pretty sure I was going to crash it more than a few times. It turns out that to self launch the kite, you have to set it up just right, so there's a lot of "set the bar down, run up, flip the kite, put sand on the trailing edge, run back, untwist the lines, then, when it's just right, pull the kite up... and the kite should do the rest. But it didn't, it crashed, and it crashes hard.

A guy on the beach named CJ helped me launch it a few times, and he flew it with some success for a while, but noted that the kite didn't want to stay still. I figured it was too much wind. He left and I crashed a few more times, some in the water. Now my kits is not only water logged, but sand is sticking to it like a champ. I'm pretty sure I'm kite-retarded at this point and decide to let the kite dry a bit as I inspect how it works.

It turns out that even though I'm not fencing, I am still a foilist. The kite design is called a foil, which for kites at least, means it has air intake on the leading [wind facing] edge. The kite is sealed on the trailing edge. The wind flows in, and provides structure to the kite. For comparison, the kite used to surf is a bow kite (there are some others too), but it does not have the same air intake set up that a foil kite has. Instead you inflate the leading edge and some structural struts. This has two advantages, one being that it floats in water, which is nice for umm water sports. Yes. The other, which has not been mentioned in any of the literature I've read thus far, is that crap doesn't get IN the kite (ie. sand and water). What this means is that my training kite is not well suited for beach conditions, and would in fact provide a much more enjoyable experience in a park. Good to know.

I also notice that my kite has two sets of lines per side (that's four sets for those of you playing at home. The same will be true of my surfing kite. In this case each set attaches to a single line, that then runs to the steering bar in my hands. There are back lines, which are closer to the trailing edge of the kite, and front lines, near the leading edge of the kite. I saw that on the right side, these groups were easily separated. On the left, not so much. So apparently I managed to tangle the left side when I was initially setting up the kite. The fact that CJ flew it at all amazes me. So I got that straightened out.

Now I could fly the kite with a decent amount of ease. Surprisingly, steerable kites are steerable. I remember buying a yellow dinosaur kite, I think when I was in Kitty Hawk, and seeing steerable kites back then, and guys talking about how they could pull you off the ground. I remember being fascinated, but somewhat shy on money to have a kite I could steer. So single string it was. Anyway, I'm flying along, working the bar one handed, doing figure eights as the guides suggest, flying without looking at the kite to get the feel, when I notice my foot feels... "moist". Sure enough there's a sand filled skin flap on the bottom of my foot. It doesn't hurt just yet, but I still have to get home...by foot. I brush off my foot with my sock as best I can and hobble on home (with the help of a cable car part of the way). I make sure to clean it well when I get home, it's not bad, mostly dead skin that it got, but it makes walking interesting.

So lessons learned:

• Check your lines.


• Fly kites on the beach that don't have built in sand compartments.


• Fly kites that do have sand compartments in the park.


• Get proper footwear for beach conditions.


• My training kite can pull me for a step or two, but I'm not going to really go anywhere.


• Don't be afraid to let go. The kite will power down and everyone will be happy.

To work on: Right now when I fly near the edge of the "wind window" my kite keeps collapsing then unfurls when it is upside down and dives at the ground if I have tension on the lines. That needs to not happen (especially since a crash like that will break a bow kite).

All Kinds of Stuff

Yesterday I ordered my training kite for kite surfing (aka a smaller, less deadly version of the actual kite that will drag me through the ocean). It should be here tomorrow if all goes well. I went to a beach near the Golden Gate Bridge (walked most of it, stole a ride on the cable car twice though) to see if it'd work for kite practice. Brian says it should be ok. He also says he may tag along if his schedule works out. I figure that I could die just walking to lunch, if I die kite surfing, at least it'll be fun. The alternative is to live in a bubble. Not good.

Matt from my old job has decided to solve my blog issue. I've been wanting to put some work-related ideas, especially about Agile, up on the net. He's been meaning to put some design related stuff up on the net. So tomorrow he's starting a blog for us. Jackpot. errr Yhatzee!

I've also started taking a more aggressive approach to my diet. A few months back I counted my daily intake of calories, it was between 1500 and 1800, not the 2000 to 2500 they suggest. My protein count is low too (as I'm sure all other nutrients were), so I'm eating more cheese, drinking more milk. Each milk-cheese combo is around 10 grams of protein. Plus my usual deli sandwich at lunch with meat, I'm looking better all the time. So hopefully I'll gain some muscle with my new found workout routine, and a little fat to insulate me in the cold waters of the Pacific.

And I went to work today, as usual.

Pigeons

Ninety-nine percent of the time they'll get out of your way on their own, but for that one percent of the time when they don't, I hope you have on close toed shoes.

P.S. Ask me about pigeon mating habits.

Kiteboarding

Also known as kite surfing. I talked to a guy, Beau, on the plane back home. He said he kite surfed. I think I just found my outdoor hobby that I can only do near water. Perfect. I'm going to get a land kite lesson ASAP.

H.E.L.

My Hill Enthusiasm Level (HEL) is what I think about when I walk around town. There are different ways to get anywhere, often times you have the choice of taking it gradually, all at one, or even up AND down AND back up again. I find that I pick my route based on how excited I am to take on the hills, and surprisingly, there are days where I look forward to the hills.

San Francisco: Found my route

There are a ton of ways I can walk to work. If I always move from my apartment towards work, the distance can be as long as 1.6 miles, and as short as 1.4. The 1.4 mile route has two other advantages: 1) the grade of the walk is fairly shallow all the way through. Other routes have flat parts, but then the closer you get to my apartment, the steeper the hills. 2) It goes right by my bank. Today I signed up for an account with Bank of America. I just wanted a checking account to link to ING Direct, but they threw in a savings account and one of these programs where if I buy something for $1.87, they put 13 cents into my savings account, and round up the transaction to the nearest dollar. They ALSO put an extra 13 cents in the savings account from their own pocket. Up to $250/year. Wow, free money. And I suppose they get me to use my card more, more transaction fees from the middle man. And it probably encourages me to make smaller purchases, that I wouldn't normally make. Smart.

Wanted to Quit

Yesterday, I when I left work to get dinner so I could go back to work, I wanted to quit. I was down because I was stuck. I was writing a customer job template and the resize thing just wasn't happening. I had been working on it for at least 8 hours straight. All so that there wouldn't be a scrollbar on the iframe. Turns out some other JavaScript I had added was mucking up the resize JavaScript and so when I took that crap out it worked just fine.

Added on that was that I had to hand off another customer job template to Jens Ole because I knew I couldn't get my stuff done in time and the second one had been promised for Wednesday too. Which is why we need development iterations and preferably some implementation of Agile.

And I've informally been placed as the UI guy. It isn't what I like. I hate combing through HTML, especially gross HTML with JavaScript mingled throughout and poor implementation of CSS. And then try to modify that when you can only manipulate half of it. It sucks. But what I'm coming to realize is that I'm the best guy for that job. I know it the best. And I'm meticulous enough to find the problems. I struggle with it because I stop when I think something is good enough, then I get asked to do "one little thing" and that OLT takes 5 hours. HTML is dumb.

But at the end of the night I found the problem, that got me over the hump. I haven't been given any more tasks so I might be able to finish something on my plate and move forward. I was able to be successful. That's what is important.

Walked

Tonight I walked to the nearest .Net user group meeting. WALKED! It was freaking awesome. The presentation, while good, didn't really have a direct application to my work since it dealt with Silverlight and how to present Ginormous photos (read: more than 200MB) over the web. If you know how any web mapping application works with tiles with varying levels of details, it's essentially the same principle.

But I was thinking about how I've now been living in my new place for two weeks (and one day) and how not once have I thought "Gee, if only I had a car...". I really don't need a car. I'm beginning to wonder if I will actually use my $50/month I have for my Zipcar membership.

Speaking of memberships, I joined a fitness club. The guys from work roped me in and we're going twice a week around lunch time. Which I must say, works out well. I didn't get much of a workout last time for all the tour and filling out membership forms, but we go again tomorrow. I can't wait till my stuff shows up and I have actual gym shorts, instead of working out in my flannel pajama pants.

It's Been a Long Day

and I'm going to bed, and it ended well (and I have my first official friend in San Francisco), but I wanted to write about one thing:

I like the sound of the cable car cables running under the street.

Not A Good Day

Today I had wanted to get my prototype of the template system running, with a functional example. I had wanted to be done by noon. But noon didn't happen. Then at 2 I was asked to do a customer job template pages using the old templating system. Oh and it's been promised for Wednesday. And then at 4:45 my boss asks me if I can do a second one that he needs before Wednesday. All the while I'm bumbling through the system, trying to diagnose problems that are expected behavior. I'm just not accustomed to the system yet. And I feel overwhelmed.

I don't want to say I'm unhappy. But I do hope things will change. And I am afraid to instigate that change. Not so much because I am afraid to be an instigator, but because I don't know my place yet, and I'm a kid in everyone's eyes. Baby faced 27. *sigh*

Mystery Mail

I got a letter in the mail today.

• It had no return address.


• It was post marked from Lafayette, IN on June 10th


• It was sent to my old address in Indiana, which means this person isn't on my email list


• The contents are a news paper clipping "Public to benefit at auto loan sale" and it's about auto loans for people with bad credit. The back has two new car ads. On the article is a yellow sticky notes "William, Look at this! J"


• I don't know anyone who calls me William


• The handwriting is on the girly side but a little messy


• I can't think of anyone who'd send me this article with a "J" name.

So if you know who this was from, help me out.

Oh and there was this strange white powder in it. JK

~W

Unexpected Job Perk #231

Being part of a hiring company, my job is to look at job postings all day. If things should seem to be going south, it'd be real easy to find a new job.

Photo Album for San Fran

There's not much, because I don't take many photos, but you can check it out for yourself.

San Francisco

Weekend

It's a down weekend because plans feel through to have company over. It kind of works out because I didn't really have a place for them to sleep yet anyway. So I'm filling out the stack of paper work that work gave me (health care app, 401k, etc.), taking care of old emails (woo hoo down to 16 in the inbox!), and planning my San Francisco future.

I took a gander at the course catalog for The Crucible (www.thecrucible.org) sicne no classes are offered in June (just 5 day boot camps during the day, which are, during the day), I looked to July. I've got it narrowed down to a glass class, or a series of workshops dealing with EL Wire (aka "Cool Neon") and LEDs. Josh says I should go glass because it'll feel less like my job. I also think if I get into glass early, it'll make it easier to progress, or take a break and do EL, then get back to it.

Today I also spent part of the day in the North Beach area (not actually on a beach) at the festival. It was your standard live music, art/craft booths, and beer garden type festival, with a lot of people. I picked up some cute things for Jenny & Anthony's new twin girls. Did I mention that they're cute. While I was out there, Elsie and her roomie showed up. Elsie being the girl I met at the Ars party below my work. She and I had lunch on Friday at a place called Crossroads. Crossroads is a mix of a book store, coffee house, deli, and local art gallery. There's a nice patio area, but the pigeons will eat your food if you step away from it, I speak from experience.

She's got a lot to her - great looks, works for a company kinda like mine in a lot of ways, tech savvy, and funny. I think she's a little disappointed in my political apathy. So maybe that's something I can bump up in my priorities for the new San Francisco Will. It's hard to tell if things are progressing in a romantic direction with her or not. If they are, they're going slow, and that's exactly what I want.

Tomorrow: Do some work (I am lame, but the project is interesting - templating) and hit up a furniture store or two to see what can be done about the living room seating. If all goes well I'll have a queen sofa sleeper and two recliners (home theater style) with some good places to put soda cans and Wii remotes.

Next week I'm starting up at a gym with the guys I work with. I figure I better do something if I'm not fencing regularly, and maybe I can get some upper body building in for a change.

Is my stuff here yet?

Stuff!

My stuff gets loaded on a truck today!!!

Not Really

Both Dickerson and Michelle have told me how much they admire me grabbing life by the horns or working proactively to make a change and I think others see my recent move that way too. But I don't feel that way. I feel like I ran out on everything - family, friends, work, hobbies, everything I had come to know and be known for. And for what? A different job essentially. Yeah I get to live in the city, and there is more opportunity here for my career, for meeting people, and forming new hobbies that fit my life style, but the price I pay is that I have to start over from nothing. For as important as I say people are to me, this seems like the most contrary move I could make. It is a gamble more than it is a change. It is more akin to emptying my pockets and putting it all on double zeroes, it will take a while for the ball to drop, and only then will I know if I have just gone for broke or if I just gotten a second chance at life.

First Day

All in all a good day. No major hurdles, there was another software engineer starting today with me, and Geoff started only a week ago. We have a network admin "Magnus" (he's Richard to the financial and legal world though) so he'll be good at what he does. I basically installed stuff on my 2.5Ghz Core 2 Duo 250 GB laptop with wireless keyboard and mouse, got my sweet chair customized just for me, sat in some demos, and then finished it off with happy hour AT work. Three half glasses of champagne and a Coronna later I was ready to go home, but the other engineers caught up with me and bought me a Liberty on 2nd and Market. Did I mention that Apple is going to upgrade my phone for free?

I Found It

On my BART ride to link up with the Amtrack to see Matt and Lauren I saw a sign for The Crucible. They had a web address http://thecrucible.com/ so thanks to my phone I checked it out: metal, wood, glass, welding, foundary, and CLASSES! And I can get to it from the train. Awesome. So fencing is out. I imagine this means I'll be making artist friends who are a little more grungy than painters, and I think that is exactly what I want.

Palm Trees

They sound just like the ocean tide breaking on the beach when the wind blows just right and you're sitting close enough to one.

I Blame Fencing

I've noticed lately that I don't always make eye contact. At first I thought it was a confidence thing and feeling like I was not successful at life. But as I studied it more and tries to overcome it I realized the cause might be my fencing training.
I don't look a the ground I'd my feet, I look at the other person, just not their face. I look attheir torso or their hand when stretched out for a greeting - the same areas I look while fencing to help me predict my opponent's next move. In fencing there is almost no useful information in the face and often times any info given us misleading. But the torso does not lie as well, so you watch that
instead. I do it off the strip, all the time. No wonder my fencers tell me I should be better than I am.

Code Lobster

Today I went to Mission/Dolores park to scope it out since I have a blind date of sorts out there on Saturday. I brought one of my new C# books to read and ended up falling asleep on the grass (I need to get caffiene back in my diet). When I awoke I had absorbed all of the sun's rays, but imstad of super powers all I got was bright red skin. While I was in that area I also poked my head in the door of Halberstat Fencing Club and got the foil practice times. I still don't think I'll go but at least I know when to go if I do decide to fence again. Tomorrow I may try to buy my bed frame from Ikea. I have found that if I want to do much of anything in the city I need to allow at least 2 hours. Speaking of which, I went to the SF Museum Of Modern Art (aka SFMOMA). A lot of the stuff made me say "Okay, but 'why?'" and there was never any answer. One exhibit made me smile - it was an infinite mirror type set up, with cameras, on a delay loop, so by the time you saw yourself in the third mirror, it was several seconds old... I lime children's museums for this kind of thing.

First Food Post

I'm waiting for my food at the bar of a place called Piraat. They serve - get this - pizza, roasted chicken, beer, and wine. It is on the corner of Taylor and Sutter, and is a mild hike from my place especially considering the hills, but they play music I'd have on my iPhone if I had a computer to sync it with like Goo Goo dolls and Indigo Girls. Even if my pizza sucks I'm coming back for sure.

They Smile Here

They smile these authentic ear to ear grins that I haven't seen in forever. They're not talking to anyone, not on the phone, they're not doing anything particularly fun, they're just happy-really happy... or on drugs, but I'm going with happy.

Live from the Bay Area

I got an apartment with a lawyer named Brian at
1101 Pacific Ave Apt 303
San Francisco CA 94133
but he's in Chicago until Friday. So I have major cabin fever
until he gets back. I'd go out a lot more bit I messed up my
ankle Friday wandering the city with my duffle on
My back. But I've learned BART pretty well and I have
A sense of where the cabs cars run (not usually where I
want them to go) and it is fun to see if I can ride them
without fare being collected ($5). I found a Safeway grocery
store for the basics yesterday. This morning I went and
got a towel and shower poof from Bed Bath & Beyond. I came
home and soaked my foot, made a PBJ sandwich and went out
to Union Square Park and to Borders where I got some books
for my job: One is "Effective C#" by Bill Wagner and will
be like my Matt away from home. The other is just O'Rileys c# in a nutshell.
I'll post pictures and stuff when my stuff gets out here,
for now my jankey iPhone posts will have to do.

New Rule

There will henceforth be no kissing of the Will Read. The exception being that an attractive lady* may kiss Will Read only if she intends to follow through with a relationship or *ahem* other activity.

The problem is that I apparently fall too easily. And I can fight off a lot of desire/relationiony feelings as long as there's no lip-to-lip contact. After a kiss however, I'm worthless - like a shirtless dwarf in the middle of a fire-fight. Today was not the first time such an exchange has happened, and these kinds of events always seem to happen when one party is leaving town for good.  So even if she wanted to follow through, the distance doesn't facilitate it.

*'attractive' will be determined by the kissee, Will Read

Grey Hair

It's all over my head apparently. It was just 2 hairs my sophmore year of college, then a tuft up front. I blame the last few months at Passageways for the new found greys. On the plus side, maybe it'll make me look older, since people still ask me what I'm studying in college. "I graduated in '04," I say. *sigh*

Fly Out Thursday

So I'm flying out Thursday, and not leaving San Francisco until I have a place to live... it's funny that I leave when I have a place to live, but anyway. If I'm really swift I might try to finagle staying out there and have family/friends help in Lafayette take care of selling my car and letting the movers in to get my stuff. but I don't know if I'm that agile.

There's a Good Reason

The reason I haven't been blogging much that everything I've wanted to blog about I couldn't, then when I could blog about it, life got busy. The short story is that I accepted a job offer from a company called Jobvite (http://www.jobvite.com) which is based in San Francisco as in California. My first day of work is June 9th. I still need a place to live out there so I plan to fly out June 1st ish. I hope to sell my car before I go, and live close enough to work that I can walk. I want to find a place with room mates, and that's proving tough to do 2,000 miles away. It's amazing how much progress is hindered when you don't have a forwarding address. But it'll be a huge break away from life as I know it now and probably the closest thing I'll ever see to a clean start. I can't wait!

This is follow up to...

This is follow up to the dinosaur(?) post. I think I got cut off at a minute or so, I should actually try signing it, and--but what I'm trying to say is that I need to enunciate more and it reminds me of being in theater were we had a not a mantra but sort of a poem that we have recite and one part of it was trippingly on the tongue which made your--it really ____ your mouth moving and you speak more clearly. But there(?) is strange now that I'm jotting and trying to use that kind of pronunciation and then I'm sure I will sound totally different when you actually hear the voice recording. So, enjoy this Jott. listen

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Birdseed, so I wanted...

Birdseed, so I wanted to brag about birdseed, and I've got a few minutes here on my way to something(?) today. And basically my point is that birdseed is a big farce but a scam if you will. If you think about sunflower seeds, you put the sunflower seeds in the ground, and you grow some sunflowers. If you think about apple seed, you put it in the ground, you grow apples. Birdseed, if you put birdseed in the ground, you do not get birds. You do not get birds ever, ever will you get birds from birdseed. Whats really good is whatever kinda flowers are meal that their using for the birdseed. So, what I say is I want my bird. I'm gonna call em up, I'm gonna send them a big nasty letter that says: Dear Birdseed Company, I would like my birds please. Your false advertise... listen

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I am blogging moboley...

I am blogging moboley now from Jott. It is a text to or speech to text service and hopefully this blog will be posted automatically. If that's the case then you'll probably see a lot more blogs from me on the road. listen

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San Francisco

I'm in the later stages of a job interview process with a company called Jobvite. You can Google them to see what they're about, this post is not about that. It's about my search for housing out there. It's a weird city because it's on a peninsula, meaning you don't get normal urban sprawl. My work would be almost on the bridge to Oakland, and I was hoping I could find a place to live that I could walk/bike to. Unfortunately, the BART (train) takes thirty minutes to go 10 miles on the peninsula, and if you're going to the other side of the bay it's basically an hour. I would need to find somethings to do with all of that transit time.

I sent an email to some people I know who might know the area. Jacqui prepped a nice Google map for me of the various districts, where to avoid, that sort of thing. So I'm trying to match that up with postings on craigslist. I really want a room mate this time. i remember going to Cinci and yeah, I knew people, but what I really needed was to live with someone. I remember buying subscriptions to magazines I didn't even want because I was so desperate for human contact. Of course, I could read those magazines on the train... j/k.

I felt someone's freedom today

I have a friend, a friend who is doing her best to not smoke pot again. I asked her if it was possible for her to experience the things she felt when she smoked pot without actually smoking. She told me that when she smoked she felt everything. So I had her pick something, one thing she wanted to feel.

As an aside, my brain in the meantime was reasoning that it doesn't need alcohol to be free of social inhibitions. It just needed practice. There was not "extra powerful brain", or "bonus courage" at the bottom of any beer glass I've ever seen. Maybe alcohol makes it easier to get at "extra powerful brain" or "bonus courage" but the point is that is has always been there. So who's to argue that my brain can't do the things it might do if I were stoned. I wanted to know.

So she picked freedom. I was skeptical, "How can I feel freedom?" So I asked her simple questions, What is it's color? Shape? Is it bigger than a bread box? Is it hot? Cold? How does it move? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? And when she had answered my barrage of questions, we closed  our eyes, stood on a high plateau, and we felt that freedom all around us, ran my hands through it, breathed it in deeply. And when we opened our eyes I found my brain had filled in some gaps, things I hadn't asked her, things that I learned about this freedom. I gave her the chills, she said it made her feel the way she felt when she smoked.

I had forgotten about my imagination.

"Hug You!"

I texted that today to Michelle when she said she was having a long day. It's meant to be read like "F YOU!", but instead of being filled with hate, it's filled with love instead. Then I tried to come up with other substitutes, like "Care off!" or "Heart this!" but I'm not sure any of them really work if you don't know me.

Fingerprint People

At the honors banquet for Josh and Ed, the speaker quoted Opra as saying "People are as unique as a fingerprint." The snarky, jaded side of me said "Yeah, but we can't really do a good job of matching fingerprints." And then I thought about why...

From the naked eye's perspective, it's just a bunch of swirls. If you're not paying attention, whose to say they're my swirls or Obama's swirls? It's like that with people, if you just glance at a roomful of people, no one really will stand out, they're all pretty much the same from a distance. Like fingerprints, it isn't until you focus in on a person, learn the intracacies that the identity becomes clear.

As I type this I find it interesting that people may seem the same "on the outside" or at a simple "hello", but then they're vastly different just under that skin, and yet, at the very core, we're all driven by the same things... same, different, same. What's that middle layer for? Since it stands out from the other two layers, it seems like it holds some exta significance.

The Last Cookie

"Avoid misunderstanding by keeping your ears open", which reminds me of another quote "A closed mouth gathers no foot."

Tomorrow I'm helping a buddy move. I'm sure he'll be on edge since he just bought his first house. I'm excited to see it, but I can see how it may be that a misunderstanding could happen with emotions running high and stamina depleted. Thanks cookie for keeping me sharp.

Cookie of Happiness

"Smile often, and see what happens." Even if you're not looking someone in the face, you can hear their smile. Smiling is being important. During the week it's a conscious effort I have to make to remember to smile, to be happy around non-work people. But once I get the happy ball rolling, it keeps going on it's own usually.

Cookie of Confirmation

Today's was a repeat, "You will travel far and wide." They must really have wanted me to know that I will travel.