Having Cake

This is  whiney post. If you don't want to hear me whine, do not read on. It's unjustified complaints because my life really is good, and so I really ought to be thankful, but I want to get this off my chest if only to better assess my mental state.

I'm a little burnt out from the week. Going from sleeping till 4 in he afternoon to waking up at 7 was shock enough. I also had all the regular stresses about starting a new job, wondering if they're still happy with me (turns out they probably are, since I'm working with a client starting next week). Then I also had something in the evening every day this week, and the earliest I got home was 10:30, some nights were almost midnight. So if nothing else I've been shy on sleep. The fun continues this weekend with more meetings and a euchre tournament.

Also draining on my emotions is the aftermath of this weekend. I had a really fun time with Denise and since I wear my heart on my sleeve these days I was hoping it would turn into something more. As you might guess, it is turning into a friendship. I feel like I should be heart broken, but I also feel like it was just one date, so I shouldn't feel anything at all. Essentially I just feel confused on what I should feel. I know I'm starting to feel jaded about being "a nice guy" or "a great guy" because I find myself saying, "How can I be a jack ass slime ball for a change?!?!" I don't really want to be that either, I really just want to be "the right guy", that's all really.