The view for the next 6 hours

Groupon take me to NYC

I'm perched here at SFO getting ready to board my flight to JFK. Last week I began work on a project at Pivotal Labs for Groupon. There is only one other guy in SFO working on it, but more in NYC and he's going on vacation this week. So rather than have me learn the code on my own and solo, I'm going to check out our NYC office for the first time.

While I'm out there I plan to check out the improv comedy scene and see Asscat if I can. I also want to stop by the Natural History Museum and see some dino remains. It kinda makes me hope that whatever inherits the earth will want to go to the museum of the future and stare at my bones and think, "I wish I had three bones in each of my fingers."

I'll be staying over the 4th of July, so it'll be awesome if I can catch the fireworks over the Statue of Liberty. There's also a swanky bar that has table tennis called Spin that I'm sure the Pivots will hit up with me.

The trip was kind of dropped on me, luckily this week is kind of a slow one for me. I'll miss a rehearsal with my troupe, Reply All. I also miss another Euchre Night - I'm afraid when I finally make it back to euchre no one will recognize me. None the less, it's a trip I've been meaning to take anyway and it'll be nice to roll it in with work stuff to keep the costs down. I'll do my best to take pictures and post 'em here, and you can always go straight to my blog and see the Latitude widget to see exactly where my travels are taking me from moment to moment.

A Sea of Feet

This is the view from the floor where I'm jacked in to a column for power at SFO on my way to NYC!

A Very Interesting Train Ride Home

Aside from the picture in my previous post that I took on the Amtrak, I had a very interesting journey home  from Sacramento - home of The Dickersons. Lauren and I arrived at the train station early so we stopped at Starbucks for some liquid crack. My poison is the Caramel Apple Spice. The dude behind the counter saw me dancing and smiled - he might have even thought I was cute. He asked if I wanted "a lot" of caramel, I said "Sure". He proceeds to empty the bottle on top of the whip cream in my beverage. Slaps a lid on it and hands it over just as the caramel starts to ooze out of the drinking hole. Then I found two hairs in my drink, long enough to not be mine or his.

On the train I signed in to Facebook. This is where I learned two things: 1) People do really get new phones, and 2) Facebook knows a lot more about me than I've told it, and it came in quite handy.

Then I had a very "adorable" and "theatrical" conversation on BART before de-boarding at the Powell Street station. I should return home more often.

Yes, I Ate Them Afterward

Cranky

And I know why. There's too much comedy between me and Thursday.

Goodbye Kite, Hello Bike

San Francisco, the city where everyone hikes or rides bikes. I haven't done anything for exercise since my climbing buddy went in to hiding. So I started looking in to getting a road bike. I was in a used bike shop when I noticed they had a big kite on the wall. I asked if they also resold kite surfing gear, like the kind I've been thinking about dragging down to Goodwill. Sure enough they do, so it's on consignment till they unload it. I'm hopeful it'll go fast since it's near the beginning of the season, the stuff is in good condition, and I set a rock bottom price.

So long kite surfing stuff! You were dangerous while I had you.

Next week I'll finalize my bike decision and join the ranks to city dwellers that can get around with some speed. I also hope to enjoy Golden Gate park a lot more this summer, maybe build up to some trips over the bridge or into the peninsula. The bike will be a certain degree of freedom - like being 16 again and getting my license. It also means that should I find a lady to spend my time with, it'll be that much easier to go see her, rather than an hour of cable cars, busses, and trains to get there.

I Started the Day With Underwear

This story that you're about to read, may or may not have been about me. It may or may not have happened today. It may or may not offend you. Let's just say, "You've been duly warned."

I went to Pivotal Labs for lunch where we had a pivot give a tech talk. It was great, you would have loved it. After the talk/lunch I was walking back to the office I'm stationed at a few blocks away. I was outside and maybe a half block from the office when I felt a fart. I was outside, no one was around so I thought "What the hay? Let 'er rip!" This was no ordinary fart though.

This fart, he didn't just exit my anus with a few poo particles to collide with your nose at a later date. No, this fart brought along the entire contents of my bowels for the ride. Now in the past I've had farts that sounded wet, or felt like they might have been more than just gas and I wondered afterwards. This one, I knew right away I had crapped my pants.

I couldn't go to the office and walk around all afternoon with wet shit in my shorts. I looked back at Pivotal thinking I might be able to change there. However, I'd have to account for my return. My apartment was only a 40 minute round trip away, I could go home and waste half the afternoon. I decided to walk a little more in my intended pre-pants-shiting direction and I saw the Metreon! They had a great public bathroom just steps away from me!

After some profuse wipage and careful shoe removal, I got my soiled boxer briefs folded up and then promptly discarded of them. I hope no homeless guys went rummaging through the garbage and thought they had landed a new pair of skivvies. I was poo free, but I knew I was out of layers. If I farted like that again I'd be walking home pantsless or with a brown stain. The rest of the day was very distracting because I was operating comando.

Where I went on my weekend

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1. Wake up on Saturday, hang out in apartment till 10ish
2. Head out to Golden Gate Park, eat grilled meat with coworkers
3. Meet up with the Dickersons and Eileen at the Tea Garden in GG Park
4. Go walk part of the GG Bridge, explore souvenir shop
5. Make our way to Fisherman's Wharf, view lazy sea lions eat dinner
6. Get kidnapped to Elk Grove!!! Play games, drink wine, enjoy good company
7. Get on AmTrak all the way down to Santa Clara
8. Walk a block or two, ask front desk of a random Hilton to call me a cab
9. See "Party Fowl" at the Santa Clara Players Theater
10. Hitch a ride back to Pleasanton
11. Ride BART back to The City
12. Ride a cable car back to bed.

Dude-Backing

This Saturday I went sky diving with the Great Dickersonaians, my brother, and my sister-in-law. It was hella fun, not scary at all, and well worth the $100 you have to lay down. But then, it wasn't really sky diving, it was more like dude-backing where you strap a guy to your back and trust him not to hurt you.

It really is funny how the brain goes just a little dumb. You get pushed out of a plane and you can feel the wind rushing past your face and see the ground getting closer to you, and you think calmly to yourself, "I have never felt anything like this. As long as the chute opens this is going to be awesome." And the instructor spins you around a bit, makes a joke via hand signals, and eventually pulls the cord. And instead of being whipped in to an upright position, you just kind of find yourself gently transitioning from horizontal to vertical. Next thing you know you're landing on the ground, right where you ought to land.

P.S. Matt says he'd dress up as Abraham Lincoln if he ever jumped solo.