More on Working Things Out

When I was in high school I knew who I was, and that was a huge edge over just about everyone else I knew. I was really comfortable in my skin, to the point where I never worried about how people perceived me. I was who I was and that was enough.

Somewhere I lost that edge. People figured out who they are and I stopped being special for having it together ahead of the crowd. I also invested my identity in fencing. Since setting fencing aside, I've been trying to decouple who I am from what I [did] do.

To me, my life is no more important that the next person's life. My time is just as important as the next. My happiness is just as necessary to me as yours is to you. The way I view the world it is all very flat, very equal. With that kind of view, it is hard for me to feel "this is important, drop what you're doing and listen to me." Huh. That's exactly the kind of thing that is really hard for me to do.