Self sabotage that is. I woke up this morning and realized that since I've left Indiana I've removed myself from every position of leadership/power that has been placed in front of me. I could have been what ever I wanted to be in fencing, but instead I sold my fencing gear. I could have stuck with glass blowing and become an instructor, but I bailed on that. I once had a group that was learning to fly kites for kite surfing, but I disbanded that group, same with Wine Wednesdays. These are things I made and as soon as they looked like they were going to take off I shut them down. I even stepped down form being an organizer for the Euchre Meetup. Now I can even feel myself pulling away from some of the improv I started. It's like I'm wired to abandon success.
It is ironic that I can embrace failure, but success I can't bear to hold on to.
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Walking away from something doesn't denote failure; walking away leaves you richer for the experience and puts you one activity closer to where you want to be.
When you find something you love you won't walk away. For now, just enjoy the experience until it's time to move on to another.
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