Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Angry and Alone

I'm worked up about work. It's always a mixed bag in my mind when I get this frustrated because on one hand it means I care, but on the other hand I have the rage because things aren't as awesome as they should be. I realized it is also weird because I can be happy with where I work and displeased with work all at once due to the nature of being a consultant.

Earlier a friend asked me why people don't want to do the right thing at work. I had a lot of strategies for dealing with it, but didn't really answer her question. I think the real reason is that people like me, like my friend, we have this knowledge that work, life, everything can be better. I do not believe everyone has that inside of them. As if some people have already arrived at the destination, and now they're just standing at the baggage claim carousel of life.

It is a curse of sorts - knowing. I long for complacency at times. To be able to say "it is good enough" and never need to add "for now" to the end of that statement.

And it is that way with my dating life too. Right now I just want someone I can nudge awake, and talk it out with. Someone who will have context of my life and understand my frustration. But there is no one, just a big dent on the half of the bed I always sleep on and these few typed characters in the cloud. It's not that I need a friend, or to wake up my parents. I want a peer, an equal, someone to face life with head on.

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