Next Up

Just canceled my membership to Mission Cliffs. Lara has been going to school and it's been hard for us to hit the gym. I have met other people who climb, but they go way the hell out to Planet Granite. So I'm redirecting the funds and will begin taking classes and making stuff at Tech Shop in the near future: http://techshop.ws/index.html. For bonus points, they're opening a new Tech Shop just 3 blocks from Pivotal Labs this summer. Yahtzee!

Just Thinking

When I was 19, I thought I knew nothing about relationships, and I dated a lot.

Now that I'm 28, I think I know a lot about relationships, and yet dating seems much, much harder.

Out of Touch

Coming back from the Oakland Oracle Arena on BART, separated from my friends and standing way too close to other people, I thought, as I do from time to time.

Part of what's going on is that I have a crap memory of the past and time lines. In my head, I was constantly in a relationship from the ages of 19 to 25. In truth, I spent most of those six years in one relationship or another, but there were plenty of 6 month blocks of singleosity in there. Presently, I've been on "several dates with one lady" as recently as October, but I also like to argue with myself that the last substantial relationship I had was back when I was 25. That's just unfair to say.

What's really going on?

1. I'm out of college. People like me who are my age are farther apart - density is way lower out here in "the real world".


2. What I'm looking for has changed somewhat. Dating a student is no longer high on my list. If she doesn't live on her own, that can also be a big downer. She's got to be employed, show ambition, be assertive, and have a killer smile.


3. This is the kicker, I have no idea who I am anymore.

Back when I was a fencer I could get behind it and sell it, "Hello, I'm a fencer, take it or leave it." essentially. Now, there's no elevator pitch for "Well I'm a guy who enjoys introspection, and I write software for the web, I'm kind of goofy, but not like most software guys, and I'm a little more in touch with human behavior, but not like someone who got a degree in psych, and blah blah blah." I'd need a big ass skyscraper to begin to describe myself to someone in an elevator - that, or for someone to pull the fire alarm.

I need the box so I know how to market Will Read. I need to have a definition so I have something to shape perceptions around. Right now I'm more like fog than I am a definite shape.

Get Your Freak On

I'm in the middle of "reading" Freakonomics. I say "reading" because I'm actually listening to it on my iPhone. Anyway, the thing is interesting because it kind of gets your brain going in new ways. I find it mildly unsettling in the way the author speaks with such authority about statistics that few others have read the same way. What I do like about it most is that it gives me insight to my fellow man, and reaffirms my pre-existing belief that people are capable of being understood.

Today's social experiment stems from a norm I've long been aware of: People [in the US] walk on the right side of the path. It must stem from the driving laws. I notice that foreigners tend to break this mold more frequently than non-foreigners. What I observed today was this: Coming out of the Powell Street station there are two escalators and a stair case that link to street level. walking from the station, you would first encounter the up escalator, then the down escalator, then the stairs. Today, the up escalator was barricaded off for maintenance, leaving only the down escalator and the stairs for use. The down escalator was also stopped in this case.

To me, the up escalator, the one on the right, is out of service, so I would expect to have to walk farther and use the stairs. But since the scenario had reduced the layout to essentially two stair cases, people were using them just so, as if the up escalator didn't exist. People were walking down the stairs (on the right to them) and people were walking up the now stopped down escalator (on the right to those people).

I want to know how we learned to walk on the right and why that lesson is so strongly carried out. I also want to know why my gut instinct differed from the masses, and why I caved in and reluctantly walked up the down escalator like everyone else.

Blog Challenge

Dickerson says I need to blog. I told him I'd blog this week if he blogged this week. Tit for tat.

Update: It's working! Check out Matt's blog http://mcd1901.blogspot.com/

I Need

I need a push. I just came back from a presentation by SFSU on their Core Coaching curriculum, which aims to get one certified and ready to be a life coach. A life coach is a guy you go to when you want to get better at life. I would be good at this, but I'm afraid.

I'm afraid I'll lack the experience to back up my advice. I haven't had kids. I don't have a wife. How can I possibly relate to and advise people with these kinds of backgrounds in a way that inspires confidence? I'm terrified that an old man will say, "Well what do you know?!?!" and storm out of my office. Or worse, what if I have to suggest to someone that he does something that I myself am afraid to do? I'm looking at stepping way out of my comfort zone here.

I've been a fencing coach. I've trained to be a coach of sorts in software and have my Scrum Master certification to show for it. I've helped people build houses. This is something you could argue I was born to do. As early as 15 I can remember my church pegging me for a path to being a minister - I shied away then for the same reasons I hesitate now.

I need someone to tell me I can be successful as a coach. I also need to really hear it, really listen when you tell it to me.

Egypt: Being a Man

Yep, it's mostly Muslim country in Egypt. This means that most of the women are covered up, some where you can only see their eyes, most with head coverings that let her face be seen and little else. Right away I picked up that all the questions were directed at me, and not Lara. I also noticed that a lot of the time when she would ask a question, the answer was replied back to me. Here in the States, I'm accustomed to hanging out with some assertive women, and I'm usually happy to go along with their plans. Suddenly, in Egypt, I was the decision maker, I was in control and expected to lead.

I don't think either of us was fully prepared for what that meant.

Mid-week, Lara pointed out that I was coming into my own, that my backbone had doubled in size from what she normally knew me to be. Meanwhile she was grappling with "keeping a lid on it". I think the culture ate away at her identity - it's hard to be an alpha anything when people don't even address you. The role reversal was liberating for me. I suspect that if I can hold on to that, I'll be a much more effective pair at work. I expect that my life may take a significant course change. Lara, may come back broken, or she may overcompensate when she returns two weeks from now.

Having been "the man" for a week, I feel like I have a lot more confidence in myself. I greet people and look them in the eye. I am not afraid to be decisive, or to ask questions, or state my opinion as I once was. I'm a whole new Will in some ways. Something to look forward to in 2010.

Egypt: Physical Manifestation of Faith

In Egypt (and I assume all Muslim cultures) you pray five times a day, starting with sun up (around 5am while we were there) and ending at sun down. I knew about the 5am call to prayer because it woke Lara and I up every morning we stayed in Cairo. During those first few days I started to notice that some of the men had dark spots on their foreheads, like it was Ash Wednesday every day of the week. I didn't really put the two together until Lara finally asked someone. Apparently the amount of kneeling and praying by putting one's head to the ground causes quite the callous on dudes with no hair on their head. I thought it was of note that to body was creating a physical representation of how much a person prayed.

I know there's a gap between quantity and quality of faith, but set that aside and think about what this really means. Imagine if you will that you could tell who was a law abiding citizen and who wasn't because criminals always had a sixth finger. And think of the self-reminder that must be to have the mark of prayer. To wake up every morning and look in the mirror and know that you are honoring your God and He wants you to do. You know it because it is written right there on your forehead. Right now, I'm not sure there's an afterlife, let alone how well I'm doing at becoming worthy of being sent there. It'd be nice to have a litmus test of how my spiritual pH is behaving.

Egypt: Obama for the win!!!

Maybe it was surprising how much Egyptian knew about the states, or maybe it was just an amassing of tidbits.

"Hello! Where are you from?"
"United States, California"
"Oh! Schwarzenegger!"

Or maybe the exchange ended in a sarcastic "Welcome to Alaska!"But what most people said was, "United States? Obama!!!! He's good president" and then give the thumbs up sign. Egyptians love Obama. It probably helped that he was there not five months before visiting the pyramids, and he noted similar facial features between his face and the face of a particular ancient statue. Clearly he and his administration have done some good PR for us because the common man in a Muslim country seemed quite pleased with the steps our country has been taking with foreign policy. Thanks President Obama for making my trip to Egypt more warm and welcoming!

Egypt: Taxis

First, a few words about general road conditions in Cairo. The roads themselves seem well maintained, and have many of the usual markings one might be accustomed to, such as lane lines. The signage is a little helter skelter, some traffic lights have a countdown till the light turns green, one no parking sign may or may not look the same as the next. It's like they're still trying to figure out which one is best instead of just picking a standard and running with it. And those lane lines don't mean much and traffic lights have to be enforced by police on the street with whistles. For the most part, traffic never stops flowing and if you want to cross the street you have to just go and pause between streams of cars waiting for the next hole.

The taxis are a whole new ball of wax. First off, most aren't metered. You have to make sure you negotiate the price up front otherwise you'll end up getting reamed when you get out like I did at the airport when I was too lazy to barter up front because it was 7am. And you really can haggle here. Many comedians will quickly point out that there's never enough cabs in any big city. Not so in Cairo. Twenty-four seven you can find tons of fareless cabs on the streets.I think this is a great way to incentivize the taxi driver. You pay what you want, he gets what he wants, and you don't have to worry that he's taking the long way around to drive up his tip.

In the states however, you can be pretty sure that your cab driver knows the major landmarks and neighborhoods. Language barrier aside, many cab drivers in Cairo don't even know how to get to the Pyramids at Giza. Basically you put any Ahmed who can drive and maybe has never left his neighborhood behind the wheel and call it done. We found ourselves parked by the side of the road lots of times as our cab driver asked a shop owner for directions.

Driving too is a Zen-like affair. It's hard to explain, other than to say "traffic just flows". No one has right of way, no one owns the space he's in, let alone the space ahead of or around his car. If you need to come into my lane, I need to move in to the next lane, and maybe the car on the end has to slow down or speed up. Those who get how to drive in Cairo all talk with their horns and through an understanding that everyone just wants to make it work. People  who don't get it just end up angry and pissed off about "being cut off" or that they can't go any faster. The one's that don't get it make for scary drivers. The one's that do have narrow misses all the time, but you never really feel frightened.

Riding in taxis is cheap, and certainly a good way to get around the city. It is a new experience and you can even talk to your driver who will be happy to teach you a few Arabic words. Your taxi experience will vary widely and will present you with new challenges, but in the end, it's all a part of Egyptian culture.

Egypt: Executive Sumary

Day 0

Got in around dinner time, checked in to the Juliana Hotel (a hostel) and got some fod at a nearby Lebanese place. Walked along the Nile a bit, then crashed out around 11:30pm missing all the NYE celebrations outside.

Day 1

Somewhat recovered from sleep deprivation, we got up super early to go to the camel market. For clarity, this is where one would go to buy a camel or six. This was the best adventure to start off the trip. For starters, we got in a cab to Imbaba, just outside the city. Then from Imbaba, we took a microbus for E£5 (roughly a buck). The bus had eight Egyptian guys in it, none of whom spoke a lick of English. At several points I was unsure we were heading in the direction we wanted, until we passed a truck with three camel heads sticking out of the back.

Camels go for about $1,000, and these guys have been herded from all corners of the desert. I was there to trade Lara away, Lara was there because she thought it would be interesting. My initial estimate had me trading Lara for fifty camels, then Facebook told her she was worth 500 camels, and her dad insisted I get 600. Later I came to find out she was worth more than 1million camels*. They did not have 1 million camels at the market. They "hobble" the camels by tying up one leg, this is done to kep them from running away, but it doesn't really accomplish the job. You've got ten camels out of the pen you want to sell, you line them up, and start showing of number one, then two gets bored and breaks formation, three more go ten feet in the other direction, and next thing you know you've got a hobbling mess. So the men and boys grab their sticks/clubs and beat the camels back in to a line. You have to be super alert because you could get run over (by car or camel) spit on, or kicked if you're not careful. We saw one guy take a camel foot square in the chest, knocked on his ass, then get up and carry on with his business.

Then we got back in a microbus, and manged to get back to Cairo without a hitch, increasing our travel-savvy confidence level greatly. We had the cab drop us off at the Cairo Museum which houses all kinds of ancient Egyptian artifacts, including a fistful of mummies and the remainder of the Tutankhamen exhibit that we didn't see here in San Francisco.

Day 2

Horses! Pyramids! Tea & Shisha! Sphinx! Koshari! We rented the horses and a guide from F.B. Stables and I'd highly recommend them to any English speaking person. Kat invited us to the roof top to take in the view of the pyramids and to smoke shisha aka. hookah or water pipe (tobacco only please). She also pointed us at a Koshari place up the road. Koshari is a pasta, bean, salsa, onion mix that's really filling, and pretty tasty.

Day 3

Cairo Tower

More sleeping.

Camel Ride at night

Day 4

Shisha @ Fishawy's in Khan al Khalili + Shopping

Day 5

Dashur, Memphis Museum, Step Pyramid, Red Pyramid (Sakara), Bent Pyramid (kinda).

Day 6

Slept in, breakfast/lunch at Aribica. Shisha and tea/cheese wave @ Tornado's, Dinner on Maxim by Marriott with belly dancing.

Day 7

Lara got some mummy tummy - I'm guessing it was all the chopped ice in her "Strawberry Granite" at Tornado's the night before. After a lunch at Pizza Hut (it's the same as here in the US, except no pork peperoni), I went back to Khan el Khalili and got some more shopping in. I also picked up some medicine for Lara and replaced her SD card. In the afternoon she was feeling better so we went back to the cheap shisha place, then finished up with a pigeon dinner at a nearby restaurant.

Day 8

Get on the plane. Wait for plane to take off. Wait for other people who had a late connecting flight. Miss my connection to JFK in New York. Get hotel voucher to stay in Frankfurt, Germany. Have a very expensive beer in the red light district. Have a normal glass of rose wine, not in the red light district.

Day 9

Fly straight from Frankfurt to San Francisco. Sorry New York, better luck next time.