Thursday, March 31, 2011

My Fear

I am afraid of snakes, You can't tell me not to be afraid of them; it's in my bones. The same way that I am afraid that I won't be enough. This applies to all parts of life. Afraid I won't be enough as a boyfriend/husband. Afraid I won't be enough as a son. Afraid I won't be enough as a father. Afraid I won't be enough as a friend. And afraid I won't be enough as a technical lead for a company.

It can be a subtle difference between needing approval, and needing someone to tell you that you give them what they need. But that is what probably makes me better than most at the things I do try to be. I am constantly preparing, improving myself, so that when the time comes, they will look at me and say, "Will Read, you are indeed ready, you have shown yourself to be worthy of all the fortunes life has put upon you. Well done."

I know that I am built to do great things, I imagine that we all are, but for me in particular I have the good fortune of also being in a position to realize my potential. I've got great family that lets me be a great son. I've got great friends, and now a great girlfriend. I've also got a great job that exposes me to all kinds of challenges, skill, and opportunities.

I once saw courage defined as "... not an absence of fear, but a willingness to act in spite of the presence of fear." I have been called courageous before - it will not be the last time.