At Bruno's wedding back in August 2006, they had sparklers at the end of the night. The idea was that we'd hold them up and the newly married couple would run under this corridor of sparkle. Well, they forgot the age old rule: open bar + fire = injury.
Fortunately, the couple escaped unscathed to my knowledge. I did not, a gentleman behind Laura and I was holding his sparkler seemingly directly over my head. One large spark fell on my wrist and got caught under my watch. Needless to say, it caused a blister, which eventually popped and left a scar. I didn't mind the scar, I liked it. I thought it was nice to have a reminder of all the fun I had that weekend, something that would always be with me.
But then a few months later it blistered up again. I thought maybe it didn't heal right. That maybe it had an infection or something that still needed tending. I let it run its course and then went on about my life.
I didn't give it much thought until this holiday season when it happened again. Now I was thinking that it was far-fetched for something like that to fester for a year. So I've leapt to something even more far-fetched and irrational, that somehow this scar is tied to the person I was standing next to that night, that it somehow represents extreme joy (or possibly sorrow). And if it is sorrow, maybe I'm supposed to help somehow. Or, if it is joy, maybe she just needs to share it with someone. Either way, I'm too chicken shit to ask.
It's crazy. I'm crazy. But it's what I think about.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Food, This Time at Work
Somewhere, maybe here, maybe in another blog, I wrote about how easy it is to talk while doing other, tedious, stuff. Stuff like boiling water, or putting food in your mouth, or washing the dishes. The stuff doesn't require your full attention, but it fills the gaps in the awkward silences in there. When I initially wrote about such activities, it was in the context of dating. Tonight, I learned that those kinds of activities might also be useful in business.
The idea was that when you're first forming a relationship, you want to be doing something else, that helps you and the other person feel comfortable, but something that doesn't interfere with conversation. Going to a movie is comfortable, but you can't talk. Riding bikes can be fun, but it's often hard to bike next to someone. Washing the dishes is good because one person can wash, one can dry, and it doesn't take a lot of brain power to do. Back in college I always wanted to talk while doing homework with my girlfriend, but it never felt.. I always felt like I was interrupting her. I haven't found enough of these filler type activities yet; I want to find more. Smoking is one that I forgot, I should figure out a way to be a smoker without actually smoking.
Business can be the same way with your work place relationships. I'm talking about teams that have high levels of trust. To help build that, you send the people out to lunch together. Someone mentioned even candy in a dish will get people to stop by and talk for a while, and help support relationships with others. I want to make it comfortable for people to meet new people, for them to talk.
Food is one way.
The idea was that when you're first forming a relationship, you want to be doing something else, that helps you and the other person feel comfortable, but something that doesn't interfere with conversation. Going to a movie is comfortable, but you can't talk. Riding bikes can be fun, but it's often hard to bike next to someone. Washing the dishes is good because one person can wash, one can dry, and it doesn't take a lot of brain power to do. Back in college I always wanted to talk while doing homework with my girlfriend, but it never felt.. I always felt like I was interrupting her. I haven't found enough of these filler type activities yet; I want to find more. Smoking is one that I forgot, I should figure out a way to be a smoker without actually smoking.
Business can be the same way with your work place relationships. I'm talking about teams that have high levels of trust. To help build that, you send the people out to lunch together. Someone mentioned even candy in a dish will get people to stop by and talk for a while, and help support relationships with others. I want to make it comfortable for people to meet new people, for them to talk.
Food is one way.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Everything
It's kinda been a busy week. Let's start at the end. I talked to Salesforce today, and they passed me up for the Agile Coach position, but asked me to come in for another interview after New Year's for a Scrum Master position. The feedback I got was that I lack experience.
Some days I hate being 27.
But I've been sending my resume to about one company per day. Just about anything goes at this point, full-time, part-time, contract, work-from-home. My resume is on Dice, Monster, Career Builder, and I even made a post on Craigslist. Meanwhile, I'm being productive on that front, but I don't feel like I'm getting the footing I want at the good companies.
I made a web app for the iPhone over the last week. It's a referee for fencing thingy. I'm sure I could come up with a better description, but the point is it's got me learning Rails and the iPhone, which makes me more marketable in the Bay Area job market. There's a low demand for .NET out here.
This week I've got 2 tech talks, a half day presentation from Microsoft, and an expert panel on Agile to go to. I fly out Friday for Indiana where I'll get to see my fencers and Matt from my old job plus a few other folks. My grandmother will even be up for Christmas.
Last week, my parents had to put our family dog down. Curly Beau Romper Read Frise, or just "Beau" to those who knew him, would have been sixteen years old next week. We got him when I was eleven, about a year after our previous dog died. His head was so small that when you opened your mouth in front of him he'd stick his whole snout in there and lick the roof. I am sad that he will not be there when I get home, but I suspect he is much happier in dog-heaven where his hind legs work, he's free from arthritis, he has his balls, and there are legs to hump as far as the eye can see. He will appreciate most the awful smelling pig ears, the endless supply of used tissues, and the dirty underwear mountain that dog-heaven has to offer him. Once he tired from the leg-humping, he can always lick between the toes of all of those feet, because that's how he rolls.
In lighter news, President Bush dodges shoes very well, and the Secret Service is slower to react than I would have imagined.
Finally, I went on two dates (same girl) last week. Both dates involved pasta, which is a good thing. One outing also resulted in a bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge, which is quite peaceful at night. What happens next is up in the air - just like all of life.
Some days I hate being 27.
But I've been sending my resume to about one company per day. Just about anything goes at this point, full-time, part-time, contract, work-from-home. My resume is on Dice, Monster, Career Builder, and I even made a post on Craigslist. Meanwhile, I'm being productive on that front, but I don't feel like I'm getting the footing I want at the good companies.
I made a web app for the iPhone over the last week. It's a referee for fencing thingy. I'm sure I could come up with a better description, but the point is it's got me learning Rails and the iPhone, which makes me more marketable in the Bay Area job market. There's a low demand for .NET out here.
This week I've got 2 tech talks, a half day presentation from Microsoft, and an expert panel on Agile to go to. I fly out Friday for Indiana where I'll get to see my fencers and Matt from my old job plus a few other folks. My grandmother will even be up for Christmas.
Last week, my parents had to put our family dog down. Curly Beau Romper Read Frise, or just "Beau" to those who knew him, would have been sixteen years old next week. We got him when I was eleven, about a year after our previous dog died. His head was so small that when you opened your mouth in front of him he'd stick his whole snout in there and lick the roof. I am sad that he will not be there when I get home, but I suspect he is much happier in dog-heaven where his hind legs work, he's free from arthritis, he has his balls, and there are legs to hump as far as the eye can see. He will appreciate most the awful smelling pig ears, the endless supply of used tissues, and the dirty underwear mountain that dog-heaven has to offer him. Once he tired from the leg-humping, he can always lick between the toes of all of those feet, because that's how he rolls.
In lighter news, President Bush dodges shoes very well, and the Secret Service is slower to react than I would have imagined.
Finally, I went on two dates (same girl) last week. Both dates involved pasta, which is a good thing. One outing also resulted in a bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge, which is quite peaceful at night. What happens next is up in the air - just like all of life.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Welcome InfoQ
I imagine if you're reading this today, then there's a good chance you came here from InfoQ. This blog is my personal blog, and as a result, contains my thoughts regarding life outside of work. If you're looking for my original post about Mesh Networks, head over to http://geekoff.blogspot.com/ where I co-author a blog with Matt Magurany.
Now, if you're still reading this, let me fill you in a little bit about myself. Presently I'm a project manager disguised as a software developer. I've been developing in .Net for the past 4 years, and it was PHP before that, and Java back in school. By night however, I've been the owner of a fencing studio (yes, swords and young people), the finance guy for a housing project in Tennessee, and climber of man-made rock faces. These experiences have meant that I've been in charge of a quarterly budget of $100,000, it means I've had to become a fencing instructor to hundreds of new fencers and travel the country to support a few elites, and it means that sometimes I fall so far that I have to start over from the beginning.
I believe that work shouldn't make you miserable. You spend roughly half your waking hours at your job, and life is too short to have that make you unhappy. As a result of that belief, I spend a great deal of energy thinking about how I can make my work place better for myself and the people I work with. I constantly pull on the experiences I have outside of the office to guide me in the decisions I make. Those same experiences help give me a more well-rounded perspective when I am trying to understand someone else's concern.
I should also mention that if I seem like the kind of employee your company is missing, then drop me a line because I'm looking. Feel free to poke around here, leave your comments if you like, but make sure you get over to my other blog too. Thanks for stopping by!
Now, if you're still reading this, let me fill you in a little bit about myself. Presently I'm a project manager disguised as a software developer. I've been developing in .Net for the past 4 years, and it was PHP before that, and Java back in school. By night however, I've been the owner of a fencing studio (yes, swords and young people), the finance guy for a housing project in Tennessee, and climber of man-made rock faces. These experiences have meant that I've been in charge of a quarterly budget of $100,000, it means I've had to become a fencing instructor to hundreds of new fencers and travel the country to support a few elites, and it means that sometimes I fall so far that I have to start over from the beginning.
I believe that work shouldn't make you miserable. You spend roughly half your waking hours at your job, and life is too short to have that make you unhappy. As a result of that belief, I spend a great deal of energy thinking about how I can make my work place better for myself and the people I work with. I constantly pull on the experiences I have outside of the office to guide me in the decisions I make. Those same experiences help give me a more well-rounded perspective when I am trying to understand someone else's concern.
I should also mention that if I seem like the kind of employee your company is missing, then drop me a line because I'm looking. Feel free to poke around here, leave your comments if you like, but make sure you get over to my other blog too. Thanks for stopping by!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I Should Quit More Often
"Why?" Because for one, it's easy to spend half a day at the DMV getting your license. I had grown accustomed to living in Lafayette where there was a DMV for both Lafayette and West Lafayette, so the office to people ratio was high. And they had their act together. They told you what documents you needed on the door, and it was clearly on the website. And when you got it, it was a fast operation even when it was busy. In SF, I went once, only to find out I needed a birth certificate or my passport, information that was buried in the web site and not something i expected since the last time I got a new state license all I needed was my old state license. And then I filled out a form. And then I got a number. And then I waited for 70 minutes. And then a guy typed in my information to his computer. And then I stood in another line for 20 minutes, just to be handed a test (WTF, couldn't the last guy hand me a test????). And then I took the test. And then they checked the test... after I waited in line. And if i hadn't waited enough, it'll be another 7-10 days before they get me my license in the mail. Indiana printed that bad boy out right there on the spot.
So that took a while.
But, the other part is that my "social" calendar is full as hell. I've been going to tech talks, and networking events, and even a tech version of Toastmasters. And I've got all kinds of meetups like Euchre, and Dodge ball. So I'm really meeting people, and everyone wants my resume or knows someone who might. Plus, tonight, I got invited to a party and another girl gave me her number. I like to think that work was stressing me out so much it was squelching out "the real me", and now that I've quit, it's like it's 2000 and I'm "oozing sex appeal" (see McCutcheon Madness t-shirts to fully understand).
Everything is coming together. I'm pulling on the social networks I built up over the last six months, and forming new ones at an exponential rate. I really feel like this is the life I moved out here for. I've got a followup interview with Salesforce later this week, I'm talking to a few other companies here. The GD told me that of all the people he knew, I'd be the one to land on my feet after resigning from a job without another lined up - and more and more, I'm thinking he's right.
So that took a while.
But, the other part is that my "social" calendar is full as hell. I've been going to tech talks, and networking events, and even a tech version of Toastmasters. And I've got all kinds of meetups like Euchre, and Dodge ball. So I'm really meeting people, and everyone wants my resume or knows someone who might. Plus, tonight, I got invited to a party and another girl gave me her number. I like to think that work was stressing me out so much it was squelching out "the real me", and now that I've quit, it's like it's 2000 and I'm "oozing sex appeal" (see McCutcheon Madness t-shirts to fully understand).
Everything is coming together. I'm pulling on the social networks I built up over the last six months, and forming new ones at an exponential rate. I really feel like this is the life I moved out here for. I've got a followup interview with Salesforce later this week, I'm talking to a few other companies here. The GD told me that of all the people he knew, I'd be the one to land on my feet after resigning from a job without another lined up - and more and more, I'm thinking he's right.
Trust Myself
Currently I'm up to my eyes in a conflict resolution. I was asked by this why I was upset with him. I replied with my thoughts and perceptions. His response was to use other people's thoughts and perceptions about himself in an attempt to invalidate my own.
I freaked out. I began to think things like, "Am I really that far off in how I see myself and how others see me?" It is the most aweful feeling to think that you're wrong about the one thing you have the most control over. If I were a dude of lesser will, I could see how a feeling like this could easily destroy a person.
The danger lies in letting people shape your self-image too much. I doubt you can totally ignore outside opinion alltogether and be a healthy contributor to society, but each individual opinion needs to be weighed with the opinions of others and against your own opinion.
The thought this leads me to, is that only you have the full picture of your actions. But when I say "only you" I immediatly hear the argument "only you and God". If this is true, maybe this is what gives him the authority to judge us. But it also implies that God is more like something inside of each of us, and not some thunderbolt throwing god in the sky. Either way, I have to trust myself.
I freaked out. I began to think things like, "Am I really that far off in how I see myself and how others see me?" It is the most aweful feeling to think that you're wrong about the one thing you have the most control over. If I were a dude of lesser will, I could see how a feeling like this could easily destroy a person.
The danger lies in letting people shape your self-image too much. I doubt you can totally ignore outside opinion alltogether and be a healthy contributor to society, but each individual opinion needs to be weighed with the opinions of others and against your own opinion.
The thought this leads me to, is that only you have the full picture of your actions. But when I say "only you" I immediatly hear the argument "only you and God". If this is true, maybe this is what gives him the authority to judge us. But it also implies that God is more like something inside of each of us, and not some thunderbolt throwing god in the sky. Either way, I have to trust myself.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Movies and Friends
What I liked about middle school and high school, was that I had a very good grasp of what my friends had seen. I could drop a quote and know that they'd all get it, or that Pat and Fi would get it, and Al would laugh because he'd only seen the preview, but didn't want to feel left out. I don't know what movies my friends have seen these days, so I'm afraid to drop quotes because I'm afraid no one will get what I'm talking about.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
