I felt someone's freedom today

I have a friend, a friend who is doing her best to not smoke pot again. I asked her if it was possible for her to experience the things she felt when she smoked pot without actually smoking. She told me that when she smoked she felt everything. So I had her pick something, one thing she wanted to feel.

As an aside, my brain in the meantime was reasoning that it doesn't need alcohol to be free of social inhibitions. It just needed practice. There was not "extra powerful brain", or "bonus courage" at the bottom of any beer glass I've ever seen. Maybe alcohol makes it easier to get at "extra powerful brain" or "bonus courage" but the point is that is has always been there. So who's to argue that my brain can't do the things it might do if I were stoned. I wanted to know.

So she picked freedom. I was skeptical, "How can I feel freedom?" So I asked her simple questions, What is it's color? Shape? Is it bigger than a bread box? Is it hot? Cold? How does it move? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? And when she had answered my barrage of questions, we closed  our eyes, stood on a high plateau, and we felt that freedom all around us, ran my hands through it, breathed it in deeply. And when we opened our eyes I found my brain had filled in some gaps, things I hadn't asked her, things that I learned about this freedom. I gave her the chills, she said it made her feel the way she felt when she smoked.

I had forgotten about my imagination.

"Hug You!"

I texted that today to Michelle when she said she was having a long day. It's meant to be read like "F YOU!", but instead of being filled with hate, it's filled with love instead. Then I tried to come up with other substitutes, like "Care off!" or "Heart this!" but I'm not sure any of them really work if you don't know me.

Fingerprint People

At the honors banquet for Josh and Ed, the speaker quoted Opra as saying "People are as unique as a fingerprint." The snarky, jaded side of me said "Yeah, but we can't really do a good job of matching fingerprints." And then I thought about why...

From the naked eye's perspective, it's just a bunch of swirls. If you're not paying attention, whose to say they're my swirls or Obama's swirls? It's like that with people, if you just glance at a roomful of people, no one really will stand out, they're all pretty much the same from a distance. Like fingerprints, it isn't until you focus in on a person, learn the intracacies that the identity becomes clear.

As I type this I find it interesting that people may seem the same "on the outside" or at a simple "hello", but then they're vastly different just under that skin, and yet, at the very core, we're all driven by the same things... same, different, same. What's that middle layer for? Since it stands out from the other two layers, it seems like it holds some exta significance.

The Last Cookie

"Avoid misunderstanding by keeping your ears open", which reminds me of another quote "A closed mouth gathers no foot."

Tomorrow I'm helping a buddy move. I'm sure he'll be on edge since he just bought his first house. I'm excited to see it, but I can see how it may be that a misunderstanding could happen with emotions running high and stamina depleted. Thanks cookie for keeping me sharp.

Cookie of Happiness

"Smile often, and see what happens." Even if you're not looking someone in the face, you can hear their smile. Smiling is being important. During the week it's a conscious effort I have to make to remember to smile, to be happy around non-work people. But once I get the happy ball rolling, it keeps going on it's own usually.

Cookie of Confirmation

Today's was a repeat, "You will travel far and wide." They must really have wanted me to know that I will travel.

Cookie of Reaffirmation

"Avoid agreeing with people merely to keep the peace." I can't remember the last time I did agree to keep the peace. This cookie wasn't written for me, it was written by me (or by someone very much like me rather). I can think of a number of people who need this fortune, people who placate others too much, to the point where it causes more trouble than the truth would have.

I love the truth. Rarely do things get worse because you told the truth.

The Cookie Told Me So

Tonight's fortune reads, "A business trip will bring you excellent results." That's really all I need to say for those in the know.

It Ends Where I Began

It's official, Greater Lafayette has a fencing class on the books. Back in my college days, I didn't feel I was ready to run a business of my own, I just wanted to coach. I talked to the Parks and Rec group and was turned down because of liability issues. Now, years later as I am waving goodbye, it seems the P&R will be the very thing that keeps fencing alive in this city. It seems comically ironic. Transitioning from a club with permanent space and is run by me to a club with no real home to speak of and coached by someone with a different style should be interesting for the membership. I think from here on out is the part where I hold my breath and hope for the best.

The Flat Side

The flat side of one half of a fortune cookie looks like a kite. I never looked at a cookie that way and thought I would share. Anyway, today's cookie says, "You are sensitive to all that is going on around you." While I think it's a true statement, it's important to realize that I am not necessarily "burdened" by all that is going on around me; I'm aware of it, I address the things I can do something about, and somethings I can't, but not everything. And when A says something about B who I know is dealing with C, it makes it easy to put things into perspective. It's the knowledge of relationships that makes it easy to keep a level head, and to lose it sometimes ;-)

Shaken, And Stirred

Last night there was an earthquake at about 5:40 AM EST. It went down like this:
*wake up*
"It feels like the apartment is shaking, is this an earthquake?"
"No, this is Indiana it's got to be another wind storm like we always have."
*looks out window*
"Ok, so it's an earthquake"
*count the seconds*
"Seven or so I'd say"

And then I felt that it would have been nice to be able to hold someone. To tell and be told that "It will be alright. The ground does that sometimes." I think it's funny because my biggest opposition in the past to looking for jobs in Silicon Valley and other regions in California is that I don't want to deal with earthquakes. I think Indiana is letting me know that it's ok to be afraid, just don't let that fear paralyze you.

The Last of the Broken Fortunes

This one reads "You have a natural poise and potential for fame." "Why thank you fortune cookie!" I think what it really may be alluding to is my my dislike for the mundane, the predictable, the grind. It knows I seek new things - to grow. And when one grows, there's only one place to go, up! it's always bigger and better things for Will Read. So while fame may not be what I seek, it certainly seems inevitable... especially if this time traveling fortune cookie has said it to be true.

I Think I Hope It's Wrong

Today's fortune reads "Something unusual will happen at work next week." The shit has already hit the fan, black is white, up is down, what made sense no longer is valuable... I can't imagine anything good happening from "unusual". Everything "unusual" has already happened. So unless my boss resigns, I have no idea what it might be that I'd look forward to at work next week.

The USACFC - 2008

I'm so glad that Purdue didn't go to the USACFC's. Just from the email list after the fact it's ugly. Not only is the usual fuckery, but it's personal in a public-ish forum. Examples:

• "Even the perception of back-room dealing by a few people (and there's been way more than just the perception of it in the past couple years with this group) "


• "...when he entered the seeding into the software, which resulted in absurd seeding"


• "Additionally, your outrageous comment regarding "back-room dealing by a few people" claiming "and there's been way more than just the perception of it in the past couple years with this group" is FALSE, accusatory, irrational, reeks of ludicrous conspiracy theories, attacks the credibility and honesty of individuals and the USACFC as a whole, is personally insulting to those you imply are accused, based on close-minded suspicion, not facts, and flat out WRONG." (I personally like that some words need to be YELLED).


• "If, instead of childish sarcasm, you actually have a better idea, I'd
  love to hear it."

So yeah, they're all professionals and everything is above the belt at least, right? Oh wait. But the real punch line is when the president of the USACFC states as his #1 point "We have provided our teams with an NCAA experience". If this is a NCAA experience, I'm sure as hell glad I was never part of a varsity fencing program. The organization should be dismantled and started over. I didn't know people could all have similar causes and be such ass holes about it to each other.

Deleciously Accurate

I continue to enjoy the fortune cookies. Tonight's reads "Prosperity makes friends; adversity tries them." I know Josh and I have talked about this concept a lot - that it's the struggle that brings people together, makes relationships strong, builds character in the individual and forces him to grow as a person. Does that mean we are born to struggle? No more than we are born to overcome those struggles and feel satisfied, happy, from having done so. Just as the best friendships are the ones that have seen hardships. The people you are exposed to the most, and stick around anyway, those are the keepers. It might be a stretch, but I'm inclined to say that a healthy amount of "adversity" builds trust. Perhaps we should all hope to struggle with those we admire most.

Broken Fortune

Today's cookie was already broken in half, so I'm not entirely sure the fortune is still valid - "A job well begun is half done". I think I'm mildly disappointed that the English on these cookies is very correct. The broken English on other cookies adds a certain authenticity to the fortune and makes it that much more mysterious and convincing. Which makes me wonder if it is easier to believe in something you don't fully understand, vs. something you do understand, in which case you either accept it as true or false based on your understanding. A profound thought for a cookie.

Fortun-ate

Oh the title is too funny since the post is about eating a fortune cookie. LOL! Anyway, today's cookie reads "You will travel far and wide." I don't mind traveling far, but I don't want to travel wide, it'd be hard to get through doorways and such. On the upside, this one is very much about the future, which is what I expect from my cookies. How do you think it knows? Did it travel back in time just to send me this very special message? That would be a fair amount of effort, especially for a cookie. Only to be eaten. Yum!